Long Distance Love Tips

Long distance relationships have always had the stigma that they don't work. Some relationships experts disagree. "Having a successful, long distance relationship is possible," says Paul A Falzone, CEO of The Right One and Together Dating, the largest brick-and-mortar dating service in the world. "It's important that you both understand what's involved and that you're dedicated to working at communicating."

couple in a long distance relationship

Long distance relationships: Make 'em work!

If you're considering a long distance relationship or fall into one without much of a choice, don't worry -- there's help on the way. We turned to the experts for some tips on how to make your long distance relationship work. Here's what we uncovered:

1

Use the phone

Natasha Grach and her boyfriend have been together for seven years, and it was not easy at first. "We started our relationship apart for six months -- we were both college freshmen and he was in Russia studying abroad," she explains. "We kept things going by talking on the phone a lot -- sometimes as much as six to seven hours at a time!"

Tip: The good news that is even if your cell phone plan doesn't include unlimited national long distance -- or your love lives outside the country's borders -- you still have options.

To cut on the phone costs, she suggests using a service like VoxOx, a free Web application that combines Skype, Vonage, Google Voice and Digsby. That way, you can communicate with your beau without a financial hurdle.

And to make matters worse, talking on the phone for that long wasn't cheap. "Yes, there were calling cards, but that was such a hassle for us and they ran out really quickly with all those maintenance charges," she adds.

Grach advises not to let the logistics get in the way of talking on the phone with your partner everyday -- it's one of the most important things you can do to make a long distance relationship work.

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2

Utilize other modes of communication

If you can't reach each another on the phone, then e-mail, IM and text messaging will do, says Falzone. "When you're stuck in a meeting halfway across the world, it's always heartwarming to receive a loving text message from your sweetheart," he points out. "Set aside a certain time, every day, to connect with each other."

With such busy lives and so many obligations pulling at you from all different directions, it's easy to neglect communicating in a long distance relationship. Using other modes of communication will keep you and your partner close even though you're technically far away from each other.

3

Keep the romance alive

You and your beau might not see each other every day, but it's important to keep the love going and present. "Give a little something -- mail a gift, write a love song, send a balloon-o-gram, order lunch and have it delivered to your honey -- just make it happen," says Falzone.

"You're not physically together all the time to enjoy those little extras that your sweetheart might do for you (like bringing you a latte made just the way you like it). Your sweetie will feel cherished knowing that you're thinking of him enough to send a special surprise." Plus, he will probably return the gesture and will make you feel super-special.

Get tips for keeping a long distance relationship red-hot! >>

4

Partake in an even-trip exchange

Odds are you and your love will be visiting each other. It's important to make this even to avoid a disgruntled other-half. "Make sure that each person takes a turn visiting the other's city," says Debra Berndt, a dating and relationship expert, and author of the book, "Let Love In." "This way no one feels as though they are doing all the traveling, thus making all the effort in the relationship."

5

Don't take things (too) personally

"Set aside a certain time, every day, to connect with each other."

Things will get in the way so be prepared. Since you and your partner live separately, odds are you'll maintain your lives in your own cities (as you probably should). It will help your relationship if you remain understanding and flexible.

"Changes in plans come up, work gets in the way and family emergencies emerge as a normal part of life. If your partner cancels a trip, do not take it personally and make a huge deal over the change (unless it becomes a regular pattern of behavior)," says Berndt. "Remember that you accepted the relationship as it is and must adjust to last minute cancellations as part of the deal."

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Comments

Comments on "Long distance relationships: 5 Expert tips on making them work"

angel February 18, 2014 | 5:02 PM

i'm feeling sad because everything is getting complicated. my boyfriend and i is working on the same company , we had same schedule before and what happened was suddenly my schedule change , so we have limited hours to spend time with each other .. another thing is , he's planin g to go back in school this comin may coz he wants to pursue his engineering which is good but imagining that for 2 years we do not oftenly see each other , it breaks my heart .. :( he always tell me that he will seek for the time to see me when he's already studying .. i believe in him . and last thing is this monday theyre account will move in different office . so what now , how we can see each other :(

Daniella February 01, 2014 | 3:12 PM

The third one is ridiculous, LONG DISTANCE, I cant go over to the US from the UK to give my boyfriend a latte! obviously this article is referring to living 5 long miles away from each other.

rosa December 26, 2013 | 7:35 PM

i met a boy in kerala. its been 2 months we are in a relationship. but recently he is avoiding me a lot, when ever i call him he doesn't receives the call. if by chance he receives he will say,right now i am busy call you later on. its been 2 weeks he is not talking with me. i love him a lot and i am very sad. what should i do ?

alwaysandforever December 19, 2013 | 8:01 AM

My boyfriend is 17 years older than me we did live together for about two years..something horrible happened, he had to move out. our love was and still is so strong. we were apart for almost 7 months. finally, I found his # and decided to see if it was really him. he had written me letters and read them to me over the phone. he had been searching for ever since the last time we were together. We cant live together because of my family. They kicked me out now I live with my friend. he lives in a diff town with his friend..we talk everyday but only get to see eachother maybe once every month or every other month.I DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT WORK? BUT I KNOW WE WILL ALWAYS BE TOGETHER. I wish someone out there knew how I felt and could give me some advice. I HOPE SOMEONE READS THIS.

Nev September 11, 2013 | 9:17 PM

My boyfriend and I (I'm in Canada, he's in England) have been in an LDR for about four months now. Don't ever let anyone tell you that connection isnt as real or legitimate just because you don't see each other. We bridge the distance as best we can by skyping/sending each other goofy pictures daily, and using wifi texting apps during school and work. I'm planning to go abroad next year. Always remember that the happiness of being that person's 'person' outweighs the distance, and don't let the LDR stigma put you down!

Megan:) August 30, 2013 | 1:22 AM

My boyfriend Tom and I met online. He lives in England and I live in New York. It kinda started off as us just joking around, being friends and then it turned into serious true feelings towards each other. It's mainly frowned upon in my family to be in LDR, but I don't care, I love him. My family will definitely not keep us apart. There's also that problem with that damn timezone. :( It's about a 6 hour difference and with school/homework/e.t.c.... We try our best to keep up with each other and We have 4 hour Skype calls everyday. We Facebook everyday and play WoW. (we're gamers). We're trying, most definitely. Hopefully one day, we will meet in real life and live a good life together because that is all I really want.

Melissa June 23, 2013 | 8:28 AM

I find that face-face communication really helps. I know it's not possible with the distance, but skype and facetime have been great for me in the meantime. Also, there is no substitute for actually seeing the person. My boyfriend lives in South Carolina and I'm in NY, but he often flies here for free because he knows how to use points and miles. I think the site that he uses is called "the points producer top deals".

Amy June 22, 2013 | 3:42 PM

I just met someone in a chat site and we hit it off. We started txtn eachother and calling eachother and other ways cf communication. He's supposed to come vist for a weekend We live in diff states and said if we actually hit it off in person he may just move here I'm a patient person but any advice on how to make this actually work until we do meet? Thax

Thelramzie June 18, 2013 | 5:19 AM

My boy friend and i leave in diffrent cityz.i love him and am ready to be with him 4 the rest of my life but the problem is he have fack promisez i dnt knoe if he real loves me..what can i do to knoe.

Hue June 12, 2013 | 2:33 AM

I just recently fell into a LDR, and I didn't even try, we just fell in love with each other. Were very similar, have the same likes and interests, and we talk to each other every day when we can (Skype every weekend or so, every day or so during breaks from school). I REALLY like him. And I never really fall for anyone that easily. We've already made plans for two visits this year and next year before I actually decide I want to live with him. Any advice, tips, support?

Natasha Brace June 03, 2013 | 6:06 AM

Hiya I met someone over an chat site and we both added each other on skpye so we do talk.WE both live in wales but I am in the south and he is in the north, i really like him but i am not sure if it could work. should i tell him or should not ?

Sonnie May 27, 2013 | 2:44 AM

I met this girl on a social network, we are yet to meet. everything was going on well until, she started complaining about me being a clingy guy, the relationship is about to fall apart, and I luv her so much, don't know what to do...

Henry eze May 15, 2013 | 2:39 PM

I have someone in my life that i love so much and i'm really dying to be with her all the rest of my life. But the truth is, i'm afraid that one day i might loose her though we haven't seen each other, we only make calls, text massages and sometimes we do sing for each other. I'm not all that happy because we've not seen each other, this is a girl that i met on a social network, we have dated for 1year now but we haven't seen each other, i want her to love me so much that she can't stay a minute without listening to my voice. Help me.

Apple May 06, 2013 | 7:00 PM

I am in a long distance relationship we havent meet each other yet but I love him so much. Can't wait to be in his arms for the first time hopefully really soon! We met off a ! Does anybody have any advice for us to keep are relationship to become stronger?

ademuba January 12, 2013 | 3:45 PM

I belive TRUST comes b4 LOVE, bcus u cannot lov without putting trust 2 forward ,although distance may keep u guys apart but d trust is there!!!

Anna December 25, 2012 | 4:37 AM

I am in a long distance relasionship and sometimes it feels like I give him to much attention and he barly gives me any. I feel hurt but then i start thinking of my ex and then i get to thinking if i should stay with the one i am with which lives in Tunisia and i live all the way in the united states and my ex lives in Mexico but i need some advice what should I do?

Annie Hewlett November 08, 2012 | 12:16 PM

Everything you have said in this is so true it can happen and it can be forever...Thanks

klaudia shawelaka September 16, 2012 | 1:08 AM

i have been in long distance relationship for six years nw,but trust and hope have been driving us along.We do send each other e-mails,cards and romantic letters,where there is trust there is hope.Distance or miles between us cudnt even prevent us from making it.I love how we talk and imagine we where close to each other.

Lisa June 19, 2012 | 1:17 PM

my bf is going to cuba to study medicine for 4years and ill be here,south africa finishing my degree...i dnt knw how are we gna do this long distance relationship but we are strong...we will survive this. Im going to wait for him...such a young ambitious man u dnt get man like him everyday...we trust each other and by God's grace we will get married and live our dreams..ill come bk after 4 years with a positive feedback.

Tony InternationalCouples.net February 23, 2012 | 9:51 PM

Been on a distance relationship for years before we married and succeeded in clearing a few obstacles out of our way. You can use everything that technology throws at you. If you want the relationship to work, it will. I am convinced, though, that distance relationships can only work for a limited period, then you've got to get together at some point, if you want to survive as a couple.

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