4 Signs to tell if your boyfriend is a loser

Dec 17, 2008 3:16 PM by Margeaux Baulch Klein

Posted in Love & Sex / Divorce & Breakups

Hopeless Loser Boyfriends

The difference between dating a cute, underemployed artist/actor/musician type and a cute, underemployed freeloader can be hard to distinguish. Is your man in a permanent slump? Here are four signs to watch out for and how to take control of the situation.

Loser Boyfriend

Sign #1: He's Always Broke

Deadbeat boyfriends are notorious for having a million excuses about why they are constantly broke. The economy is bad, his former boss was a jerk, he's waiting for the check to come in, etc. What they don't have, however, is a plan to turn their financial situation around.

Sign #2: He's Lazy

Do you leave the house in the morning while he's still under the covers and come home to find him parked on the couch? If he's always on Facebook, playing video games, or even if it's just a small thing like not replacing the empty toilet paper roll when it's out, laziness and a supreme lack of motivation are definite signs of deadbeat behavior.

Sign #3: He's Erratic

You may love that he is a nonconformist, but if the guy you're dating continually demonstrates shady tendencies, like disappearing for days, binge drinking, or staying out all night and refusing to tell you where he's been, consider yourself warned.

Sign #4: He Lets You Support Him

No matter how affectionate he is, do not allow your boyfriend to live with you and not pay at least half of the rent and shared expenses. Likewise, no self-respecting man would let his girlfriend always take him out to dinner without ever reciprocating. If your boyfriend allows you to support him or needs your help to accomplish even the most mundane of tasks, he might be classic DBB.

So what do you do?

First, stop spending money on him and doing anything that he would otherwise have to pay someone to do. You may think that you're helping, but, in the long run, by allowing him to mooch off of you (both financially and emotionally), you are simply enabling his behavior and giving him no reason to change. Instead, talk to him about how you feel and be firm that you are uncomfortable dating (or living with) someone that is unemployed (or broke or lazy.) Hopefully, if he has any sense, this should be enough to motivate him. However, if not, put him to work around the house and let him work off his share of responsibilities by playing a role that women have played for decades, that of the housewife. If you don't decide to break-up, at the very least, you will have someone to cook you dinner and sign for your Ebay packages!

More dating advice:

Unhealthy relationship characteristics
How to be happily single when your friends are taken
How to meet rich men: 5 Tips to find a sugar daddy

Comments

Comments on "4 Signs to tell if your boyfriend is a loser"

Since the beginning of time when GOD handed down punishment to Adam & Eve, it has always been a man’s lot in life to “sweat for his existence”. The terminology of “Equal rights” is used interchangeably by men who wish to shirk their responsibilities. There is a difference between supporting a man with prior success who has fallen on hard times and a man who lacks ambition to begin with. It is a man’s duty to provide for his family, this is why men are more likely to receive a higher salary than a woman with the same professional and educational background. In the workplace men are promoted more often and taken more seriously professionally. It is a man’s responsibility to make a woman feel safe and protected in a relationship. If I am speaking falsely, take a look at movies and television. Why are 99.9% of super heroes men? Most women look for a man that is financially stable so that he can hold his own without her support. There are women who would take a man making 60k a year even though they make six figures providing that he has ambition and goals for the future. When a man does not or cannot provide for his family or the woman in his life, it is the FASTEST way to lose the respect of those around him. Money is power!

My daughter's new boyfriend is like her personal slave at my expense. I found out that while she was away at college she was using her college loan money (and my supplemental money) to pay for his numerous visits and other things. When she is home, he is here mooching off us for meals, and loafing around. He is ALWAYS there. I finally told her what I thought and now she has left to be with him (probably again at my expense). I intend to cut off the money once she graduates from college but until then, looks like I am stuck paying for her personal assistant boy friend.

I just turned 20. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years. After H.S we stayed in our hometown to study together in our local university. After 3 semesters I am still enrolled with 2 part time jobs at the mall, and my boyfriend is on suspension, and has never worked. I pay for everything, dates, food, movies, gas, etc. He "tries" to get a job but there is always an excuse. I love him, I do, the years before graduation, or before things got complicated with responsibilities I was so happy with our relationship. Now I'm afraid everything I loved about him is gone since he does nothing but play video games, and constantly check FB. I have a lot of goals set for myself and leaving my hometown is one of them, I'd love for him to come along but I'm confused if he's really worth it. I love him, but I'm not sure if there is anything left to love.

I was recently dating a guy with some of these traits until I broke up with him..I just got tired of it and guys like this really turn me off that are not responsible..they dont know or care to save for a rainy day most of the times they are also very immature..a child inside a grown adult mans body..I think if women lower their standards and allow a guy to treat them like this they will..and they will take advantage of that..I think some women just get desperate they prefer to stay in a unhealthy realtionship rather than not be in one they see all their friends in relationships..and some just have low self esteem they dont value themselves..so they just put up with this type of stuff from the guy they are dating.

This sounds like my boyfriend. I am 20 turning 21 i go to school part-time and work 2 jobs. Im planning on moving out in feb. But my boyfriend has never had a job and does not go to school. I have always given him what he wants. It really sucks not having a boyfriend treat you to dinner or pay for a movie. He is the best guy ever. And i love him but i really can not do this much longer. We have been together for 3 years and im ready for the next step. But if he doesnt get a job or go to school soon we are going to have a problem. I am so lost in what to do. I've laid the law down.I have done everything.Someone please help me!

I am currently dating someone who I've been with for almost a year. When we first started dating he had a job and got fired a couple of weeks later. Later on when things became more serious, we moved in together. He still didn't have a job, so I a family member of mine got him a job at their workplace... He quit the job because "it doesn't suit me" he says. We are now still dating while he is staying at his friend's house. I believe in equal rights and I know the economy is bad, but when I'm working and going to school full-time to come home to dirty dishes and laundry..it makes me angry. Not to mention he doesn't even try to look for a job. So for all of these guys on here saying this article sucks and that it doesn't sound like what you do because you bought a house ya de ya de yahh...obviously we're not talking about you.

OMG! This describes my daughters boyfriend as if it was written just for him. Unfortunately, I can't convince her! I think I'll print this off and give it to her. Great article. Thanks!

Guess what women, YOU ARE ALL OF THESE THINGS. You wanted gender equality and now you have it. Women get with men for 1 thing, MONEY. When a guy doesn't have it, suddenly.. HES A LOSER. What? But what about women? Why don't they have to have money? Because you're women. And men are supposed to take care of you. Please, we're equals now, so its ok for women to take care of men. If you don't think so, you're a sexist worse than chauvinists. I support gender equality, because now, I can mooch off chicks with 0 guilt =] THANKS FEMINISTS

Probabally they dont wast money

Generally they don't like to waste money in unnecessary things, so dont show they have money

My big stupid 39-year-old man-child of an ex fits these qualities perfectly. His name is Greg W and he is the dictionary definition of a deadbeat. He is constantly unemployed, and was caught last year collecting welfare while he worked. His salary was garnished as a result, and instead of taking responsibility, he expected me to feel sorry for him and help him out financially! He always pays his rent late, yet manages to have money to buy booze and lottery tickets. He is a raging alcoholic who smokes weed as well. He is abusive and lazy, and blames others for his problems. He was no ambition and lives pipe dreams and childish fantasies. I am so glad I dumped his ugly ass for good. I will never make a mistake like him again!

Eric - When/if you marry someone who is lazy and unmotivated, you will understand. Until then - - you cant. I don't go to fancy places, or expect the red carpet treatment. But, a man that likes to help would be nice. EVEN BETTER - NO MAN!!!!! SINGLE!!!!!!

Okay, so I have a hubby that could not keep a job, so I said - just stay home. Yes, I did avoid the cost of daycare, and yes, he takes and picks up the kids. But here is what happens. You get really bored of it. Because, they have a zillion and one reasons NOT to do things. Lazy people could have a trillion reasons to do something, and they would find one reason not to and go with it. Now, I do love my deadbeat, but I am starting to get bored. It's not the kind of love you can live on forever. Although, with him staying home, I did not worry about sucky daycares. But now, I feel like, this has been fun, but BYE. While I appreciate him being a stay at home dad, the kids are older now, and there are just more problems creeping in. Like, his dad just died so we have accumulated two cars. One runs, one does not. Guess what he wants/needs me to do? STORAGE!!! Not sell them - - - no no no. Keep the cars - -wifey will take care of it. Meanwhile, I have a child with a birthday coming up, and one that has feet that I could swear grow every other day. (Time for new shoes) I love my husband, but I want to go solo, because I really don't think he can keep a job. And these cars are just going to be more money he needs from me. If he does work, he will shuffle me change and keep the bigger portion for the cars - -I just know it. I'm leaving him in a month, and I know what will be said: "She is so cold to leave him with his dad just passing away" I guess he'd better buy a heater - - oh wait - - he CAN'T!!!! I wonder if he will try to get me to buy one for him soon. He is great at discipling/yelling at our kids, but he is no fun. I want to be free to have joy again, and not be an enabler anymore.

I respectfully disagree with the author of this article. With the rise of feminism, it's not uncommon to have working women and "soccer dads." In addition, there are indeed legitimate reasons for people to be unemployed -- for example, a genuine disability, retirement, etc. Now that's not to say that the man shouldn't contribute to the household -- the line between man and woman has become rather blurred in the 20th and 21st centuries.

Im guessing this article is for girls in my place. The girl who feel in love with the guy that had everything I wanted and needed. I didnt know years later I alone would be paying for everything for the last 2 years. Now it seriously needs to change because im getting laid off but he just gets angry when I talk about it. I know he has only looked for work 3 times in his whole unemployed time, sucks for me. I dont think I know what its like to be paid for and I cant afford the necessities like shoes. Im not sure what to do or how to say it anymore. Anyway, I can relate.

I currently live with a deadbeat boyfriend. He's everything except #3. He gives all the excuses under the sun for not earning money. He complains about having to walk the dog or vacuum the house. He worked a total of 3 months in the last 2 years and complained that the job doesn't suit him. I wanted to throw him out so many times but I didn't since I am not used to driving and we moved to a small city where it is difficult to take the public transit. I am determined to learn how to drive again to get rid of him once and for all. A taxi is better than this dead beat boyfriend who is nothing but dead weight. I had enough of dead weight.

This is article is retarded. Yeah we are in a RECESSION! Guys are gonna have less to spend, but hell men and women are EQUAL now right? So how about paying for your own stuff? I'm not going to let a woman mooch off me. As for laziness: Earth to girls! Guys like Video Games! Men, well straight men, don't like going to clubs to "Dance". We go to clubs to meet women and try to have sex with them. This article is exactly why I don't date AMERICANIZED women anymore.

I love my bf don't get me wrong bit he is the most unmotivated person I have ever met quit his job cause he moved back with his mom cause I moved out and hasn't made effort to find another one his parents are practically raising his 3 yr old daughter I won't get started on that. That's a whole other issue . Problem is I love him dearly but I'm so confused as to stick with him or let him go it's been over a year now ... Someone help if you can

Thats what women are suppose to do take care of you

LOL... i like how women think they know so much about men. I play video games yep. And from time to time, i forget to put a new roll on.. LOL But I'm furthest from 'Lazy' Out every single day as well as my racing career, i jog every morning lmfao, my gf supported me for 2 months as i was jobless .. BECAUSE Of the economy. Gg? Now, i have a job, and i support my family including her. I've bought a house and everything is going great. This whole thing, i was linked by my gfs best friend. And to me it looks like just another sexist attack on males. This is Trucking hilarious lmfao.. Fail gg.