7 Deadly sins of dating

Nov 21, 2008 11:42 AM by Margeaux Baulch Klein

Posted in Love & Sex / Marriage & Relationships / Dating

Thou Shalt Not...

Don't say that you weren't warned! Nothing can kill a budding relationship faster than one of the seven dating mistakes below.

Woman on bad date

Rushing into sex

There isn't a universal right time to become intimate with a new partner, however, if you have sex before a man has had a chance to get to know you, then you risk him placing you in the "fling" category and losing interest. A man has to invest and appreciate your other qualities beyond the physical for him to want to make you his girlfriend. So don't be afraid to take your time and make him wait until it feels right for you; the "three date rule" is a myth!

Opening up too fast

Likewise, it isn't smart to rush in and tell him all of your sad childhood stories. Although it's natural to want to speed up the bonding process, you have to pace the amount of information you share. You don't want to scare him offwith TMI or convince him that you're a high-drama mamma.

Calling/texting/emailing too much

While it's true that we live in an age of over-sharing, you'll just have to trust us on this one and play it cool. Men typically enjoy playing the role of the chaser, not the chasee, so constantly calling them can have the reverse effect of making them less interested, not more. So put down that phone, slowly back away from the computer, and let him sweat it out for a change.

Spying on him

It may be tempting to take a quick peak at his Blackberry, but there's no faster way to inflame trust issues than to snoop.

Faking orgasms

Faking is a like a harmless, little white lie, right? No! In the long run, you are actually doing both of yourselves a huge disservice by allowing him to think that his moves are pleasing you when they really aren't. Besides, what if you marry him? Are you really going to keep up the Meg Ryan act into your old age?

Expecting him to change

People do not change very much as they get older, especially men. So if there are numerous things about him that you can't stand, then it might be wiser to just change to a different man.

Neglecting yourself

While it's important to nurture a budding relationship, sacrificing all of your energy and time to it and ignoring your own needs is a huge mistake. Whether you're in a relationship or not, you should always love and take care of yourself first.

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Comments

Comments on "7 Deadly sins of dating"

when i finished reading the 7 sins, i realized we can let go of the person we love if we have just want it.. for me, dnt overpower you mind by your heart!

As a lady,i usd 2 tink dat caling&txting my partner is d best way to keep our relationship,bt i realisd its nt when i found out that he no longer cals or txt d way he used to because to him,he feels i am now d chaser instead of being d chasee which almost ruined our relationship bt i thank God it neva,cos i love him and i cnt afford to loose him.bt i have learnt my lessons.thanks 4 ur advise in d seven deadly sin dat can break a relationship,it has realy helped me.

Too much texting is annoying. Let the guy breathe without asking him why he hasn't texted back for 10 minutes.

Dump him Crystal. He's showing how immature he is with his selfish choices and you don't want him to be smoking weed around your baby

i do agree but i am all soo jelouse of my husband i guess our huge age difference i am the younger one of course but i love him when we first got together it was great but he also had alot of baggage at the time i guess when you see him sleep with him x but remember it was before i got with him the memory still haunts me and being he loves me i should suck up my fellings and let him now instead of hurting our realationship !!!! ps your totally right about the 7 deadly signs have reuined my past .

Also, I like chasing guys sometimes. Why should they just get to have all the fun? If they don't like it or can't handle it, then he's not the man for me anyway. It's important to just be yourself and the right guy/guys will come along. Some women are natural aggressors and maneaters. If the guy can't handle my strong personality then that's a quick way for me to see that wouldn't have worked anyway.

This may sound odd but I don't agree with half this list. I have slept with guys quickly and I became their girlfriend/wife. I do snoop but like one person said, don't get caught! You can find out all kinds of things from snooping and I have found that some of the guys snoop on me. Tit for tat, anyone...lol. Ironically, I don't care about the cheating anymore. I used to but I have cheated on boyfriends and I have been cheated on while I was pregnant and it didn't kill me. I have learned that people aren't meant to be with just one person. This is why I don't want a boyfriend but if I had one, I would just make it an unspoken rule that if we feel the need to step out, we can, just don't bring that crap home to the family. All's fair in love and war! Happy dating, ladies and gentlemen. :)

I watched the sunset over the horizon behind me, was a full moon rising deep in thought, sitting in the sand feeling the land sift through my hand so peaceful on my face was the ocean breeze a spiritual calm , that&nbsp put me at ease the evening was upon me , the stars in the skies the only thing missing, the smile from your eyes missing this moment, being apart from you Your with me in spirit so I'll never be blue I love you I do , no more I can say I give you my heart, each and every day

Good stuff - thanks a bunch!

A relationship without trust is no relationship at all

I don't know about number 1 - I broke that on the first date with my now fiance!!! The rest i think are really spot on - especially the part about neglecting yourself.

Thanks, I appreciate the tip since I was guilty of at least 2 of the bad habits. Say no more, I shall behave. :)

Women who hang on to cheating men -- why do you think your relationship with him is different? If he's cheating on his wife and family, what makes you think he ever will leave them for you, his co-conspirator? Can you ever trust him to be faithful to you, and do you think he will really trust you?

Girls out there be carefull when it come to making love with a man. Men are very unfair, never and never trust a man, and always take your time and think twice when it comes to making decissions.Never do anything out of fear, and never do anything because you want him to be pleased, instead do something which will make you happy and free with him.

i love your articles.and i agree with you.from judith.Lagos city,Nigeria.

i totally agree with all

I agree with rule number 4 that spying is the best way to know that you are giving your trust to the right person. I have encountered that kind of situation wherein I spy someone by using a dummy account and be his chat mate and asked him questions, you know bluffing around and I found out he lies big time! From the moment I know that he is lying, I cut off our communication right away.

yeah

when i finished reading the 7 sins, i realized we can let go of the person we love if we have just want it.. for me, dnt overpower you mind by your heart!

evreything said is true. ihad been in and out of relationship twice in the last six months due to some of these things said. just need to be careful next time. thanks alot....