The Loser
Pet Store

A guy friend, who shares his dating escapades with me, went on a first date with a great girl. He met her on -- ahem -- Yahoo Personals. (Do we still have to whisper online dating ventures?) Probably not since almost everyone I know has either tried it or considered signing up for Match or eHarmony, or considered dating someone they met on MySpace. Anyway, "this girl is chill," as one artsy friend of mine would describe. From afar, she embodies most of the qualities he's looking for.

But wait... Something went erroneous for my friend.

My guy friend IMs me:

"O-M-G, Brie, so on the second date with this incredibly beautiful girl I confirmed that she has a slight stutter. I'd like to think I'm mature enough to handle it, but here I am writing you about it."

My response:

"I will be honest and say I couldn't handle it, but then again, I don't claim to be mature at all"

I've since come to an observation about Web-mating:
online dating = loser pet store

Yeah, yeah, I, too, am an online dater now. But hey, I never said I was not a loser. If anything, it's easier for me to spot 'em. I've been there, done that, and I'll be the first to support dating via cyberspace. And I'll also be the first to say, it's as slim pickings on the Web as it is certain locales in America -- so there's not a huge difference there.

I conclude, dating online is like going to the demented zoo -- the horses are too short, the owl has an eye patch, and the lion can't growl. If you're still reading, you must have also come to the conclusion that I'm a horrible human. But I call it as I see it, and I'm not even alone on the matter. I've talked to a handful of online daters who have surmised there are only 10 percent online who are actually datable. Of course, there are no scientific experiments or significant surveys to prove or disprove this number, so please take this information with a grain of salt. I dare you to weigh in... Join an online dating site (if you're single, that is) and let me know what you think.

Like I said, I'm an online dater now. I have a strong suspicion that at the end of the day, those demented zoo animals can be pretty damn cool. You'll seldom find creatures like those around. Some will make you laugh, some will teach you a lesson, and some may just surprise you.

Upon telling my guy friend about my "loser pet store" theory, he responds, "I like to think of it as the 'land of misfit toys.' It's more endearing."


More dating advice:

Dot-com rules: The don't of internet dating 
Guys: How to meet a woman online... The grammar attraction 
Comparing men to pieces of bread when out in broad daylight


Comments on "An online-dating anecdote"

roseline james January 20, 2009 | 7:14 PM

There is much in life that is made for two. I am looking for the man to share these things with. Caring, loyal, loving and honnest, a man to share the good and the bad, the sweet and the sour. I don't have delusions of perfection but there is a large area in the middle of the road that is big enough for the two of us to be. The man I am looking for may have children or not,I have always been attracted to petite or smaller, shorter men, I don't know why

chiley January 08, 2009 | 5:32 AM

i need a serious relationship that include marriage..........?

winco December 26, 2008 | 9:09 AM

i need seriouse relationship with a female that include marriage, honestly,rich,caring,trustful.

adeola December 22, 2008 | 9:40 AM

i will like to know abidexe better, she can contact me on this email

abidexie December 11, 2008 | 11:25 AM

i need a man that will understand each other am still a single now

daniel abba November 29, 2008 | 12:04 PM

i love it

musty November 18, 2008 | 6:40 PM

hi, mary i will b very serious in our relationship.

Mary November 16, 2008 | 11:49 AM

i like to have a serious relationship,like to meet u online

kevin November 13, 2008 | 7:08 PM


debby November 13, 2008 | 10:56 AM

i need a seriouse relatioship that will stad firm withuot infatuation

Elisha November 13, 2008 | 10:54 AM

there are only two types of people who are dating online - 1. Who have failed offline and 2. who like to flirt For the people in 1. - I think does make sense...but in that I would recommend them to not restrict to internet portals but also location based services like Bluepont

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