Everyone has one or two cute but insignificant stories that they save for times when a conversation lulls at a dinner party or they are trying to break the ice with people they just met. One of my cocktail hour anecdotes involves my former upstairs neighbor who used to play "Since U Been Gone" twenty to thirty times a night.
"She must be going through something," I thought at the time, not unsympathetically, for only true heartbreak could prompt the playing of the Kelly Clarkson breakup anthem that many times. Inevitably I went to confront her, thinking I could offer a shoulder to cry on or, at the very least, recommend a few new songs, but it turned out that she was not a she at all, but a burly 5'6 Irish man.
Songs for Cutting Out His Head Out From All of Your Pictures:Since U Been Gone by A Day to Remember
An angrier, more rock'n'roll cover of the classic.
Total Eclipse of the Heart by The Dan Band
A slightly more explicit version featured in the film Old School.
I Hate About Everything About You by Three Days Grace
"I hate everything about you. Why do I love you?"
Songs for Quiet, Wistful Reflection:Where I Stood by Missy Higgins
"Cause I don't know who I am, who I am, without you. All I know is that I should..."
Littlest Things by Lily Allen
"When I was feeling down, you made that face you do. There's no one in the world that could replace you..."
Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy
"Goodbye, my hopeless dream. I'm trying to not think about you. Can't you just let me be?"
Songs to Ramp You Up for a Night On the Town With Your Girlfriends:UR So Gay by Katy Perry
"I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf while jacking off listening to Mozart..."
Goodbye to You by The Veronicas
A dance version of the classic.
We All Sleep Alone by Cher
"You may have lovers wherever you roam, but sooner or later, we all sleep alone..."
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