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Things to watch out for on a first date

Brie Gatchalian is a freelance writer based in Montclair, NJ. When she's not writing about fashion and beauty, she researches topics related to relationships and mulls over her own love life. She'll be the first to admit she doesn't hav...

First date red flags

You have a first date with this supposed cool guy. Let's hope he's as awesome as you thought he was when you accepted the invite. But if you have doubts about him after your first rendezvous, something's likely inapt.

Man with Lollipop

Don't know what's wrong? Need help discerning why he turned you off? I'm operating under the impression that you're the princess that you are. If the new guy does any of the following, kick him to the curb before you accept a second date.

Texts or talks on the phone during the date

If you find that Mr. Not-So-Perfect picks up his mobile during dinner, or initiates or responds to text messages from friends and family, refrain from seeing him again. You might've enjoyed his text messages to you, but now that you're face to face, he should know better than to answer calls. You're not asking for the world—but you do deserve a couple of hours of his undivided attention.

The exception: If he's a doctor or is on-call for some reason, let it slide. A man who's dedicated to his career is a total turn-on.

 

Talks about his ex

The minute your date mentions his ex-girlfriend, that is an indication he may not be over her. If he mentions her two, three or more times, hello, he's only on a date with you to get over his past love—and that's just not cool.
The exception: If he and his ex are still good friends (yes, that is possible) and you're certain he's over her (without making excuses for him), then it's okay.

 

Forgets your name

Granted my name is a little offbeat, but c'mon! A man once said my name incorrectly and that was my cue to split. If your date forgets your name—whether on the first date or even the first phone call—you know he's either stoned or doesn't care. You want a potential suitor to care enough about you that he would remember your name, as well as other intimate details you tell him about your very being.

The exception: Say you met this guy at a bar and it was super-loud and he could barely hear you. You jot your name and number down on a napkin. When he calls you, he politely asks you for your name … That's the only time it's okay.

 

Scopes out other women

The cardinal rule when on a date—whether it's a new guy, old boyfriend, or husband: Do not check out other women. If your man is scoping out the ladies, he's tacky central. All eyes should be on you. If they're not, then you can either scope out other men and then leave him altogether, or just walk away and call the date a wash.

The exception: If you're irrational or ultra-sensitive about men scoping out other women, give him a couple of passes. He may just be looking for the server to get you another drink or thought he saw his sister. If he consistently does it and it's obvious he's a womanizer, then you can leave.

 

Scopes out men

This rule goes without saying. If your date is checking out other men or may have too much affinity for his own gender, you should reassess the situation. Are you on a date with a hetero or did you just make a new gay friend? Let's hope for the former. If the latter, I suggest you go back to the drawing board and find a new date.

The exception: If you're into threesomes, maybe this is okay. This can get tricky though, so be ready for the consequences and awkwardness.

 

Makes you pay

It's the end of the date and the check comes. You reach into your purse to find your wallet. After all, you don't mind going dutch. But then you notice Mr. Cheapo isn't reaching for his! What's a girl to do? You wait for him to get a clue, yet now it's clear he meant for you to get the bill. You put your card down—paying certainly beats the humiliation of having to bring up finances at the table. Just know that when you leave that tip, you leave that boy with it.

The exception: The only time this is okay is if you and said date pre-determined that you would either go dutch or that you would get this round. Perhaps you asked him on the date? Okay, then that may mean you should get the bill. However, if he asked you and/or you didn't discuss the dutch factor, he should've at least made a reach.

 

Leans in for a kiss even after a horrible time

Your date is over and you have never been more glad to see your humble abode. You beeline for the front door only to be intercepted by your date's gross, gaping mouth. He's leaning in for a kiss?! After your not-so-great date, you wonder why he thinks he's entitled to the treat. If confronted with this scenario, I hope you decide to turn away or run. If you give in out of courtesy, then you're a nicer woman than most of us. Let's just hope you're not so nice as to grant the yucky date with a second.

The exception: Wait, there is none.

Want more tips? Find 100s more dating tips and date ideas here>>

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