We know how it is: You're talking to your girlfriend when you get hungry. You tell her you're going to make a sandwich but reassure her that you'll phone once you're done eating. Flash forward two hours: The sandwich is long gone, and you're engaged in a bloodbath on your PS2. Meanwhile, she's wondering where the hell you are. "When you tell her you'll call right back, assume she's thinking it'll be about five minutes," says psychotherapist Robert Mark Alter, author of It's (Mostly) His Fault. If you know it'll be two hours, say, "I have to deal with a few things; can I call you later?"
You're a busy guy, and you may have more important stuff to do than fix a leaky faucet in your beloved's bathroom. But when she asks for help and you agree, she's counting on you to get the job done. "Women these days are independent and don't like having to ask for anything," says Bobbie Reid, author of Clueless. "When you don't take care of it, she has to keep bugging you, which makes her feel like a nag."So the next time she makes a request that you can't get to right away, Reid suggests telling her that you'll totally be able to take a look at it, but not until a specific day the next week. That way, she won't keep asking, and you won't be the ass who never did what he said.
Making plans tends to be more of a woman's forte, which is why it means so much when you come up with a cool date idea of your own. That's also why it can be a major letdown when you don't follow through. "By suggesting it, she assumes you're now going to make all the arrangements, and that makes her feel special," says Alter. So the next time you mention trying that new Moroccan restaurant, make a reservation or tack on the addendum "...just remind me."
Okay, admittedly women aren't always ready when they say they'll be. Still, there's an expectation that if you tell a girl you'll be showing up at a certain time, you'll be there. "Being late is inconsiderate and makes her feel like you don't care about seeing her," says Reid. So if you're going to be tardy for a legit reason (like your boss has you chained to your desk), call! She's a lot less likely to bitch if you give her a heads-up.
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