Report card: Discreet vibrators

Play Time

Even nice girls need toys. You're no -œdirty Susan- with vibrators that look like the real thing. You like to be subtle about your bedroom habits and keep your solo playtime a secret. These discreet vibrators will help you maintain your good-girl image. We graded them for you - on the scale of cuteness factor, design discretion and scare quotient - so you'll know what you're getting into before purchase. Read on, then enjoy!

Woman and Vibrator
JasmineAn innocent shower massager

Cuteness Factor: So-So
Design Discretion: Excellent
Scare Quotient: Minimal
Final Grade: B
The Jasmine might look like a simple shower massager, but it's got saucier things in mind. Its ergonomic design makes it easy to hold, and its gently textured nubs help stimulate all the necessary spots. Just pick your speed and vibration — soft, smooth and intense. After your delicious session, recharge the Jasmine's battery to last another 60-90 minutes — longer than most men.
$99 at www.bootyparlor.com

1,000 Orgasms, Quick Lay and Junior MiniAs Sweet as Candy

Cuteness Factor: High
Design Discretion: Satisfactory
Scare Quotient: Minimal
Final Grade: B
These Novelty Vibes might look like candy from afar, but with names like 1,000 Orgasms, Quick Lay and Junior Mini, it's pretty obvious what they are. At either case, these silly toys are the perfect favors at passion and bachelorette parties.
$9 each at www.pureromance.com

Hitachi Magic Wand

The Magic Wand

Cuteness Factor: So-So
Design Discretion: Excellent
Scare Quotient: Minimal
Final Grade: B
It the magic wand not used by fair godmothers, though it can grant you some wishes of your own. The Hitachi Magic Wand might look like an ordinary back massager, it can do so much more than that. It produces powerful vibrations for stimulating pleasure points like the G-spot and more.
$44.96 at www.liberator.com

Touch UpNail Polish for Touch-Ups

Cuteness Factor: High
Design Discretion: Excellent
Scare Quotient: Minimal
Final Grade: A
Keep the Touch Up in your handbag or briefcase. No one will be the wiser. This precious pink nail polish bottle pampers and pleases way more than any other product in your beauty bar. Just twist off the top and pick your desired setting. Its multi-speed vibrations will pleasure you on-the-go. It's the perfect gift for the "nice" girl experimenting with vibrators for the first time.
$26 at www.bootyparlor.com

Petal PleaserPleasing Flower

Cuteness Factor: High
Design Discretion: Excellent
Scare Quotient: Minimal
Final Grade: A
Your man hasn't sent you a bouquet of flowers in ages? Forget him — turn to the Petal Pleaser instead. Who needs a man when you have this cute toy to stimulate hot spots like the vagina and clitoris. It's small enough to hide in your nightstand drawer so when your cleaning lady is tidying up, she'll have no idea it's present.
$19.50 at www.pureromance.com

Vibro PodA Happy iPod Accessory

Cuteness Factor: Low
Design Discretion: Satisfactory
Scare Quotient: Minimal
Final Grade: C
Although I'm giving the Vibro Pod a satisfactory grade, its novelty wins us over. A discreet vibrator that you can hook up to your iPod, giving you the clitoral vibe to rock your world? Sign me up! All you have to do is plug it in, play your favorite jam, and sit back and relax the interchangeable bullets' powerful rhythmic sensations.
$54.50 at www.pureromance.com

Silver BulletSilver Bullet of Pleasure

Cuteness Factor: High
Design Discretion: Excellent
Scare Quotient: Minimal
Final Grade: A
Legend has it that silver bullets kill werewolves, but don't let this Silver Bullet fool you. This top-selling vibrator, featuring multi-speed controls, provides the ample clitoral stimulation that over 70 percent of women need in order to experience an orgasm — certainly not as dangerous as what werewolves fear. Play with it alone or with your partner for extra bedroom fun.
$12 at www.passionparties.com

Comments

Comments on "Report card: Discreet vibrators"

titties and beer June 29, 2011 | 8:15 AM

Every comment under me are written by the same person, so don't believe it.

misty August 13, 2008 | 2:41 PM

I love Booty Parlor. Is so so much more classy than the other companies out there.

Sarah August 13, 2008 | 12:33 PM

I'm not here to commercialize any company, but I WILL say that I had a Passion Party and the items I saw were AWE-SOME. I'm not into the fancy-shmancy stuff. I just like the basic silver bullet and I can honestly say Passion Parties' Silver Bullet did the trick! :)

Stephanie August 13, 2008 | 10:20 AM

I LOVE Passion Parties!!! I host a party almost once a month for me and my girlfriends. We have so much fun!

Dawn August 13, 2008 | 9:14 AM

I love Pure Romance! Their products have the best quality and reasonable prices. I've been a loyal customer of theirs for 10 years already! Definitely recommend the vibropod!

Irsa August 13, 2008 | 8:41 AM

BOOTYPARLOR ROCKS!!! Best website to check out for ladies, couples, etc. WHAT A WAY TO HAVE SOME FUN IN THE BEDROOM!!!!! ;)

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