When Dating Becomes A Hassle
Some call it "giatus" for short. In daters' terms, this is the moment a straight, single woman decides she's had it and would rather not mingle with the opposite sex. They have their reasons.
When I went on my boy-cation, the grounds were simple: I yielded three horrible dates in a row — one made me pay for the movie, another guy ate a deluxe hamburger in two bites, and some creep expected me to do the monkey dance on our first date — and I had a strong suspicion that I was looking in all the wrong places because I didn't know what I wanted. Dearly, single, if you've caught yourself in the same predicament — quantity-dating (a.k.a. dating for no reason at all), it's time to assess what you do on Friday nights. Sure, going on a "giatus" means spending some weekends alone, but isn't that better than spending nights with someone so not worthy of your time? If you answer yes to any of these reasons, then a boy-cation is in order.
1. You don't know what you want
If you find yourself dating various men of all different shapes, sizes and attitudes, it could mean that you're just plain-old confused. You tell your friends you're open-minded, when really, you can't tell Mr Right from Mr Okay. Heck, there are times when you're on dates with Mr Wrongs and think to yourself, "This isn't so bad." If you are unsure more often than not about the men you're casually seeing, it's because you haven't pinpointed what you're looking for in a man. In fact, you might be so turned off by men lately that you are considering playing for the other team. Take a time out and think about the qualities you're looking for in a significant other before getting back into the game.
2. You're too busy to make time
You went out on a date with that IT cutie from the office. Yes, you managed to find one day in your insane schedule to hang. Mr Cutie is into you and asks for a second date. The only snag: You won't be free for another month! Poor IT guy has no other choice but to wait. Stop! Let the IT cutie go. Put him back in the dating pool where he belongs where some super-available girl can have a crack at him. It's only fair. If you're too busy for Mr Cutie, you're too busy to date anyone. For the right guy, you may make time, but if that adorable IT guy finds himself scraping for hours of your day, do him (and us) a favor and walk away.
3. You're on the rebound
No surprise here, if you're clearly fresh out of a relationship, please refrain from committing to anyone — for a handful of months, at least. You might think you want to date that guy you just met at the bar because he's oh-so-fun, ridiculously hot -- or worse, both -- but that might be your lonely, sad self talking. After heartbreak, whether it was your choice or your ex's, your emotions may get the best of you. You feel as if you're ready to get back into the game and find your next love, but in reality, you just want the pain to end, be spontaneous, and find yourself in good company. The only problem is, once you heal, what if that man you took on as a lover is not your ideal mate? There's more to love than excitement and hotness. There are a lot of factors that come in to play that you just forgot about during your tumultuous state of mind. Give yourself some breathing time, relax with your own thoughts, and get back out there when you're really ready.