Sex at 18

SheKnows: So let's get right to it, do you have a girlfriend?
Michael: NO!

SheKnows: Mike, there's no shame in having a girlfriend. Some people even covet one. Not you, apparently.
Michael: I have this friend, Alex, plays on the lacrosse team. Alex says having a girlfriend is like pulling a hamstring. You know, a nagging injury, tough to recover from.

(Laughter on Mike's part, and mine.)

SheKnows: Are you going to the prom?
Michael: Yes, but before you ask, she's just a friend. We went last year to the junior prom.

SheKnows: You obviously had a great time last year.
Michael: It was a blast. We stayed out to like four in the morning.

SheKnows: And nothing happened?
Michael: What do you mean?

SheKnows: No hanky panky?
Michael: No, I told you we're just friends.

SheKnows: Have you ever had a girlfriend? I mean, since you've hit puberty?
Michael: No.

SheKnows: What about sex, Mike?
Michael: What about it?

SheKnows: Have you had sex?

(He does not answer. He blushes. Michael has a ruddy complexion. When he blushes, the ruddiness goes scarlet.)

SheKnows: You're welcome to say, "It's none of your business."
Michael: It's not that so much. It's just that... well, you know my dad and my mom and I just don't want it getting back to them. You know?

SheKnows: I do know. Sex is a private matter. When you think about sex, is there somebody who really gets your heart racing?

(Again, Mike blushes scarlet.)

SheKnows: What about celebrities? You must have a crush on someone?
Michael: Jessica Simpson.

SheKnows: Jessica Simpson? What do you like about her?
Michael: On my god, she's gorgeous. What don't I like about her? You know what I mean?

SheKnows: Actually, I don't. I don't think Jessica Simpson is much to gawk over.
Michael: You're kidding. Why don't you like her?

SheKnows: A lot of reasons, Mike. She projects herself in such an unflattering way. Sex appeal, to me, is confidence, intelligence, strength of character, wit. She has none of that.

(Mike smiles during my answer.)

SheKnows: I know, she has blond hair and a beautiful body.

(Mike nods his head.)

SheKnows: Anybody else, other than Jessica Simpson?

(He can't think of anybody.)

SheKnows: Really? Jessica Simpson is the end all?

(He shrugs his shoulders. He's a one-woman guy, I guess.)

SheKnows: What about Jessica Alba?

(Mike shrugs his shoulders.)

SheKnows: What about Scarlett Johansson?

(Mike shrugs his shoulders.)

SheKnows: Let's switch subjects. Did your dad have the sex talk with you?
Michael: He's tried. It's awkward.

SheKnows: It really is. My dad took two hours to say about twenty words. And he needed two big glasses of red wine to do it.
Michael: My dad drinks a couple of beers every time he tries.

SheKnows: How many times has he tried?
Michael: I don't know. A lot.

SheKnows: What do you wonder about sexually?
Michael: Nothing really. I mean, we've seen it all.

SheKnows: What do you mean you've seen it all? Watching porn, you mean?

(Mike blushes scarlet.)

SheKnows: Listen, don't be embarrassed. I'll be totally honest with you. When I was your age, my friends and I used to sit around watching videos. We were curious and porn offered visual content. What did we learn? Basic female anatomy. What goes where. It was educational.
Michael: Really?
SheKnows: Yes, really. We were not getting off, at least as I remember it.

Michael: How old do you think someone should be to have sex?
SheKnows: Good question. I think we all start to experiment at really young ages. I don't think there's a specific age for intercourse. I can tell you that I was nineteen. I wasn't ready before that. I might not have been ready at nineteen. It just kind of happened. And do you know what? I just felt relieved. I remember, to this day, going to the bathroom afterwards and looking at myself in the mirror and thinking, "Well, that's over with." And I was really happy that it was over. I was happy to lose my virginity. I wasn't actually that happy with the sex. 

Michael: How do you get good at sex?
SheKnows: Good question. Sex takes practice. It's like lacrosse. You know, you become comfortable with the stick. You become comfortable with ball possession. As you get better at lacrosse, you're able to see the whole field. You're not just concentrating on one aspect of the game. You begin to anticipate other players' movements. There's the actual game and there's the mental imaging. Great lacrosse players are able to play the game out in their heads, and be right about it on the field. Sex is no different. Do you remember when you first began to play lacrosse?

Michael: Yes, I couldn't catch the ball.
SheKnows: Exactly. And then you learned to catch the ball. And you learned how to keep possession. And you learned how to pass, how to defend, how to shoot. It's a process, Mike. Do you talk about sex with your friends?
Michael: Not really.

SheKnows: But you talk about girls. You talk about Jessica Simpson. You don't take the next step and talk about sex with Jessica Simpson?
Michael: No. That would be weird.

SheKnows: So the fantasy of Jessica Simpson is better than the fantasy of having sex with Jessica Simpson?
Michael: I don't know what you mean.

SheKnows: You're able to look at her and think, "She's gorgeous" but to touch her, in your head I mean, the mental imaging part, enters a realm that you're not ready for.
Michael: I guess. Do you fantasize about women?
SheKnows: Celebrities? No. I think celebrities are a turn off. To be a celebrity, there's basically a psychological obsession with being loved. Needing to be loved. I think that need factor is really ugly.

Michael: What about with women that you know?
SheKnows: Sure. There are women, friends of mine, who I just think are totally sexy. For whatever reason, we're not together. Do I fantasize about them? Yes. I recognize, though, that it's a fantasy. The fantasy is almost always better than real life. In real life, you have to argue over who's going to take the garbage out.

Michael: Why aren't you married?
SheKnows: Marriage just isn't for me, Mike. Some people need to be married, need to be able to lean on someone. I need my freedom.

Michael: Have you ever been married?
SheKnows: No.

Michael: Then how do you know you'd lose your freedom?
SheKnows: Good question. I don't know the answer to that. I can tell you that there are a lot of different ways to live your life. Marriage, children, those are options. So is a life of singularity. So is a life of polygamy, as we've seen lately in the news. So is a life of celibacy. These are choices, Mike. You experiment and you find what's right for you. 

(Mike nods his head. He seems momentarily satiated. As am I. A moment later, Melanie walks into the room. Melanie is Mike's fraternal twin. Mike's older by ten minutes.)

SheKnows: Well, Mike, I thank you for your time and honesty. Melanie, I have some questions for you...