Terri Orbuch, PhD, better known as television and radio's Love Doctor (drterrithelovedoctor.com), who specializes in marriage, modern dating, love, and sex, offers the following tips:
Add a new or exciting element into your life. When your marital sex life is in the doldrums, an effective remedy is get you and your partner excited--out of bed. This could be anything from skiing to taking a cooking class to going on a mystery date. It transmits the subliminal message of freshness, energy, and unpredictability--just what you want in the sack.
Be afraid--be very afraid. Plan an activity that scares the living daylights out of you and your partner. Go on a roller coaster ride or see a scary movie. Studies show that activities producing fear and excitement produce hormones associated with sexual arousal.
Practice small endearments. Make an effort to kiss him when you see him. Hold hands when you go out. Snuggle while you watch TV. Studies show that people feel more connected to their partners when they hold hands, hug, kiss, and cuddle. This closeness leads to more and better sex.
Surprise him with an erotic email. Send your partner a sexy email or give him a call out of the blue in the middle of the day. Showing your guy that you're hot for him, even during your busy day, is very exciting to males.
Reacquaint yourselves. When was the last time you two talked about something other than work and family? Ask him about his dreams. Ask him to tell you about his favorite pre-marriage vacation. Get to know him again just like you did on your first dates. It will work wonders on your love life.
Get a tune-up. There's nothing wrong with relationship workshops. In fact, there are so many fun ones these days that you and your guy might just want to make it an annual event. The whole point of these events is to get two people loving again. Take a tip or two from pros--that's what they're good at. You change your oil every 5,000 miles, don't you? Why not put a little effort into your sex life and relationship?
Next: Why do men fall out of love?
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