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Sex frequency & the desire to cheat

Ashtyn Evans is a professional blogger who lives with her family in Michigan. In addition to being a part of the SheKnows community, Ashtyn helps to co-run a popular media, news and opinions blog: Literary Illusions. Ashtyn is a resident...

Can you keep him from cheating?

If a guy's getting all he needs at home, does that mean he won't stray?
Why does he cheat?

The question

Dear Ashtyn, I am one of your male readers. I have posted this question on various other forums on the Internet and have received a mix of replies. I am of the firm belief that men who have women willing to have sex with them as often as the man wants are less likely to cheat on their women. If a woman wants to keep her man, she needs to keep him happy. What do you think? You're the expert. I should point out that the rates for men cheating on women are much higher, supporting my theory.

- Curious about Pleasing

The sex expert responds

Hey Curious -- thanks for your email!

I think if you did a study of men who cheat (and one might be out there, I will have to look it up) you will find that just the opposite is true. I am sure that there are plenty of guys out there who cheat because they think their girlfriends aren't giving them enough sex, but I also believe that cheating is more about control and less about the frequency of time a man has sex.

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The reason I believe this is because there are plenty of ways for a man to have an orgasm all by himself. If a man is devoted to a woman who isn't giving him enough sex, his first response isn't going to be to go out and cheat. A man with sense doesn't ruin a good relationship by cheating simply for that.

Whether it is done subconsciously or not, 9 out of 10 men cheat because they want a way out of their relationship. Most of them are not man enough to just break up with their girlfriend or wife, so they find a way to make it happen. It's all about being satisfied with the relationship as a whole and not just the sex.

You might be surprised to know that a new study has been released about women -- which supports my belief it is more about power than sex frequency. The study shows that the more women become the breadwinners in their family, the more likely they are to cheat on their husbands -- so by the same token women are just as guilty as men are in this. While women are not as likely to cheat as men are overall, the numbers of women who cheat on their boyfriends or spouses are growing by leaps and bounds.

There are many reasons why people cheat. Sure, I agree some people fool around on the side because their boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse isn't giving them enough sex -- still, I don't feel that is the sole reason. Power, control, the need to separate from their significant other, and perhaps even fear play all a role in why people are apt to cheat on their spouse.

Cheating is a self-destructive behavior. To all those considering cheating on their spouse or lover, I suggest talking about it and telling your partner about the feelings behind your desire to "get some" somewhere else. Running away from a problem doesn't solve anything -- and it is true when they say, the truth can set you free… literally.

Read more:

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5 Things he wants you to say in bed

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