Vanilla vs. rocky road: What to do when kink creates relationship turmoil

I, like many people, learned of my sexual interests at a younger age. Today, I have many friends that choose to form relationships by whether or not their potential love interests are into certain fetishes or not. I have had more than one person inquire about what they should do if their interests do not mesh with their lover. It really depends on the relationship at hand. If you are straight-laced or your lover is than nothing can make you or them kinky. If you like dominant men that want to push you around and your husband is a tad more submissive then you cannot make him dominant. Furthermore, if you try and he plays along it won't be satisfying for either of you. Plenty of people I know are married to people that are not kinky. Some of them find that kink from other people. Some teach their spouses how to give them what they want. Others end up ending their relationship due to incompatibility. If you love the person you are with and just are missing this one side, it can be hard to imagine ending it because of sex and honestly you don't have to do something so drastic. First try talking to your lover. Do you want to be spanked? All you have to do is ask. You would be surprised just how many men WANT to do something naughty to you, but they are afraid of the reaction you will give. For some, it will actually be a relief because they want the same things. Then you will have others who are not sure they will like such things and find out in the heat of the moment that they love them. If they show interest but aren't quite sure what to do then you should offer to show them the moves. Instruct them because some men find this form of dirty sex talk reason enough to give you anything that you want. If you're going to tell them what to do, make sure to have fun with it, be descriptive, and to moan real pretty as encouragement when he gets it right. If they aren't interested in your fetish of choice and you aren't comfortable going outside of your relationship for it or he isn't comfortable letting you go outside for it then it will ultimately be time to make a decision as to what is more important to you — your fetish or your lover.Let us know what you would choose by leaving a comment. In the grand scheme of things what is more important to you; a good relationship with a few flaws or the burning desire for an incredibly hot sex life with someone you're compatible with in a whole other way? I can't wait to hear from you!