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10 sex myths: Separating fact from fiction

Ashtyn Evans is a professional blogger who lives with her family in Michigan. In addition to being a part of the SheKnows community, Ashtyn helps to co-run a popular media, news and opinions blog: Literary Illusions. Ashtyn is a resident...

From questions about orgasm to the quality of your relationships, there's a lot of confusing and contradicting information out there. Here are 10 eye-opening answers to some of the most common sex myths!

1If you didn't have an orgasm, it wasn't good sex
False: Sex should never be all about having an orgasm. Even if somewhere along the line things have become distorted and the orgasm has become the all-important definition of good sex, that doesn't make it true. Sex myths and realitySex is about feeling good and enjoying an intimate moment with someone that you feel connected to -- it has little to do with orgasm. Of course, if you have one, that's great. It's just not necessary if you want to have a good time in bed.

2Men hit their sexual peak in their late teens, and women hit their peak in their late 20s
True: However, there are a few exceptions to this rule. Men reach their peak testosterone levels at the age of 18. Women hit peak estrogen points around the age of 28. So this rule only holds true with regard to peak hormone levels. It means nothing about performance, interest in sex, or sexual prowess. This gives you plenty of room to try for and set a personal best each year -- and not have any scientific data to tell you that it's not possible.

3If you want the strongest orgasm possible, you need to masturbate
Undetermined: For some, this statement is 100% true. However, others need the physical contact of others to have one of those explosive orgasms. Some sexperts feel that masturbation should yield the most powerful orgasms because no one knows your body better than you do, but if you look at all of the emotional and biological factors you can see that some people won't be able to "love" themselves like another person can.

4Oysters and other foods make you hot
Undetermined: Currently, there is no scientific evidence that points to the fact that oysters and other foods are able to make you horny. However, many doctors believe that the effects mainly arise from believing in the aphrodisiac-like effects and seeing the food before you eat it. Just having those good expectations in your mind seems to help. So who cares if the effects are from the food or what you think of it? All that matters is the end result, so go with it!

5Web porn is addicting!
True: However, before everyone freaks out and cancels their subscriptions to all the hottest sites and removes their porn collection, you need to keep reading. Only about 1% of people that watch Internet porn will become addicts -- and nearly half of these people are married!

6Great relationships don't have sex problems
False: Don't flatter yourself! Chances are, if you have a great relationship and you haven't had a sex problem at some point, you just haven't found yours yet. A sex problem in your relationship is not the sign of the decline of your relationship. It's a sign that you're human. The only time a sex problem will threaten your relationship, is when you do nothing about it. Even then, that puts it in the same realm as any problem in your relationship. Remember, communication and honesty is important. Over time, your sexual needs will change. Problems in your relationship may arise if you do not relay these changes to your lover.

7Passion comes naturally if a couple has been together for a long time
False: When you first fall in love, there is that "new car smell" where everything is fabulous and you cannot get enough of each other. However, the longer you are together, the harder you will have to work to keep the passion alive. While it's not terribly tough to keep the fires stoked, as you stay together, there will be some work involved. How much depends on each individual relationship and the interests of the couple involved.

8Masturbation will hurt your relationship
False: Masturbation has been getting a bad rap for years. The important thing to remember is that most people do not use masturbation as a substitute for sex. Masturbation helps a relationship in many ways. For starters, it works great at keeping the desire alive. This is especially true in women, where self-stimulation creates higher levels of sexual interest. Another great reason is that you can learn your limits if you have a sexual dysfunction. Men can learn techniques to last longer and women can determine what they like, what feels good, and what can help them reach orgasm if they are normally unable to do so.

9There is no excuse for masturbation
False: If you want to get technical, there are plenty of excuses. It feels good! It helps you learn about your body. It relaxes you. It keeps the desire in your relationship at top levels (or helps). These are just a couple of good reasons to enjoy masturbation.

People often shun or feel guilty about masturbation is because of religious reasons or because their parents told them it was wrong, or just have work to do in terms of accepting personal sexuality. While I am not normally one to go against mom... she was wrong. Think of it this way: Anything done consensually that feels that good can't be wrong.

10Sex has to be spontaneous or something is wrong
False: While it would be nice to drop your pants whenever and wherever you felt like it, most relationships don't allow for such freedoms. When you add in the fact that both members of the couple often work full-time and have outside duties (friends, kids, housekeeping, errands), you might see that it leaves little time for impromptu sex.

There is nothing wrong with scheduling some private time together. There is something exciting to be said about the anticipation and excitement that comes from waiting for something that you know is going to happen. Ultimately, a good situation will be filled with scheduled and un-scheduled moments, based on your daily agenda and your sexual needs.


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