How To Get
In The Mood

You know you wanted it once upon a time. You know you had a good reason for buying that black suspender-corset thingy that's gathering dust at the back of your closet. But since you became a mom, your enthusiasm for sex has dwindled to folding the laundry levels, right? And who can blame you?

You're tired (to put it mildly). You're afraid of getting knocked up again too soon. You may have some uh, issues with your post-baby body. Your days are already filled with vile bodily fluids. And you may be feeling more than a little resentful that romance from your husband has been reduced to a nightly 10pm Shoulder Tap.

But are you not, somewhere within the sleep-deprived haze of your new identity as mother, still a woman who wants and deserves a good sex life? Hell yes! So why not give yourself a little present and reclaim your sexuality. Do it for yourself, not for your husband. Haul yourself far enough out of the Mommy vacuum to think about what it would really take to get you in the mood again.  
Need some help? Here's a few ideas to get you started:

Strike while the iron (psst, that's you, Honey) is hot

When you take the initiative, you have sex on your terms, when you want it. You feel less like a rabbit in a cage waiting for your husband to make his move. Just getting into a take-charge mode can actually make you feel sexier, too.

Slack off

Damn you, Martha Stewart! The pursuit of household perfection leaves most of us with no energy for anything fun. So cut class occasionally. No more Miss Goody Two Shoes who always puts the dishes away before bedtime.

Tell your husband what matters to you

Most men don't understand how much mothering upends our sex drives. Tell your husband that verbal communication will always work better than a paw on the shoulder. Let him know that a little romance goes a long way. He can bring back a taste of the hunt every now and again, even though he's already bagged himself a deer (aka: you).

Escape (with your husband) when you can

We know of no faster way to get out of Mommy Mode than a hotel with clean sheets and room service.

Put it in your planner

Let's face it: The days of spontaneous "take me now on the kitchen table" sex are over. If you want to have quality sex and reduce fears about another pregnancy, you have to plan for it. 

Night time may not be the right time

Don't underestimate the importance of timing. Sex at the end of a long day can feel more like a chore than an opportunity. Think early morning or lunchtime rendezvous if you can swing it.

The old dog's old tricks

Why not try the things that used to work? A steamy book, sexy underwear, going to bed naked, flirting tastefully with other men, or not-so-tastefully with your husband. That girl-you-used-to-be may not be so long-gone after all.

Read more:

4 Ways to sweep him off his feet
6 Steps to a sexy massage
5 Things he wants you to say in bed


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Comments on "Getting your sex drive back"

Sharon June 12, 2012 | 7:35 AM

@glynis I would say talk to him. Communication is VITAL. I like that the article mentions scheduling . My husband and I did this even before we had kids. If you always are just waiting for you both to be in the mood (and also have nothing going on and be home at the same time), it probably won't happen for awhile. If we both know we're going to do it on Thursday, you bet your bum it will happen!

bob April 15, 2010 | 2:40 AM

you can also try some other tricks like - bathing together, massaging each other with erotic oils, playing with paint on your body etc., The thing is you have to spicy it up a little bit, the regular workouts on bed slowly become obsolete in terms of thrill n ecstasy as the body gets used to it. Try something new and different and as you know, only the genitals of male is erotic in nature but as with females their entire body is erotic. So guys can play with her body, kiss, caress etc., they can also use chocolate or honey. Honey would be a great idea, the girls can tease the husbands to lick the honey on their soft, cute, delicate, smooth body which can ignite irrestible ual desires in him.

glynis March 21, 2009 | 10:16 AM

what if your husband who has turn it off and does want I'm 46 and still wanting him what do I do. Please help!!!

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