There are hundreds of personality traits and tendencies that make someone "good material" for a successful long-term relationship. But according to relationship expert, Dr Neil Clark Warren, there is one trait that is more important that all others. "Mastering verbal intimacy is the most important indicator of whether a person is right for you and ready for a serious relationship," he says. For the person who is dating and seeking a partner with whom to pursue a successful relationship, there is no more important task than determining if your current date has the ability to share themselves verbally on a deep and intimate level.
Dr Warren emphasizes "verbal" intimacy, the sharing of our deepest fears, dreads, joys, and inner experiences, as a great way to learn about the interior of our potential partners. He also shares 3 things which must be present for true verbal intimacy to begin and flourish.
1. You must know who YOU are
To be able to share yourself deeply you must know what you're feeling. It is vital that you understand yourself in order to develop the capability to be an equal partner in a satisfying, verbally intimate relationship.
2. You must have a desire to know each other
When you meet someone who has a great desire to sit and actively listen to you talk about yourself, this is an excellent sign that this person may well be a promising partner in the development of verbal intimacy.
3. You must make space for verbal intimacy
A relationship can start without verbal intimacy. It can continue for months and sometimes years without either partner giving time or consideration to its benefits. However, over time almost every relationship will go flat, that is lose its spontaneous excitement, unless both partners commit to enhancing their verbal intimacy.