Courtney says the single adults who write to her asking for advice through her AskPhilippa advice column want to know how to "qualify" someone. In sales that term refers to assessing whether someone is a likely customer before you spend time and effort trying to sell them your widget. But, Courtney says: "The problem with this sales approach is that it is too 'me' oriented and it puts people off. Instead, you need to take a more marketing approach and put yourself in the mind of the man or woman you want to meet. This simple change of mindset can create amazing changes in your love life and attract rather than repel your ideal mate."
Ask yourself, if you were the kind of person you were looking for, what would you do to meet the right person? Would you list yourself on some online matchmaking site in the longer-term relationship section? Many of these sites use a search engine where people can call-up profiles of people who use certain words, like, family, children, etc.
When responding to someone's online profile or putting your profile out on the web, emphasize your love of children and the desire for a true partnership and family life. Create an emotional connection to the type of person you want to meet so they will recognize their needs in your words. Do not talk about a specific requirement such as age and fertility.
Knowing what you want is the first step to achieving it; but being too driven about it will have people running the other way. Be goal oriented and be open. Change your mindset to positive expectation then go on and enjoy your life. You'll soon be living the family life you seek.
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