Marriage Builder: Needed -- More affirmation

Need for appreciation If people are to grow into what they can be, they need to be appreciated for what they are. How long has it been since you gave your partner a sincere compliment? How long since you received one? Unfortunately, we all need reminders. Our culture doesn't really encourage us to affirm each other. Just watch any sitcom on television. It's considered chic to be casually critical of others. Put-downs are used as a form of friendly conversation and the basic of most friendly jokes.

And in real life, sometimes we find it easy to exchange insulting familiarities, but find it difficult to express approval and admiration. Receiving praise from others is even more difficult. So we want to offer you an exercise that can be a gift of affirmation for both you and your spouse. Sit down with your spouse and follow these three suggestions:

• Write ten things you really like about one another. Now, that's not so hard to do. Then move on to the second part, which may be a little harder.
• Write ten things you really like about yourself! Go ahead, and don't be intimidated by false modesty. List your good qualities -- at least ten of them.
• Now share your lists and discover how good it feels to affirm the positive things about each other.

Take our suggestions. Go on and affirm each other. You're worth it. Both of you!