Take two pieces of paper and two pencils, giving one to your lover. On the paper, tell him to place all the things he likes about your sex life on one side of the paper and all the things he is unsatisfied with or wants to expand upon on the other side. You can use your sheet of paper to do the same. Set a time limit of 15 minutes (more if you need it) and begin writing down your thoughts. Write them in short sentences, and try to be as honest and open as possible.For example, you might say your frequency of lovemaking is good, but you want to expand on the length of time during each session. Maybe you like sex overall, but you want to expand on foreplay. You can also use this time to explain things you want to try that you might have avoided telling your lover about.
If you are iffy about talking about sex, you can exchange lists and allow your lover to respond first to what he sees you have written down. A good idea when reviewing your lists is to determine the most important things mentioned, and to make a commitment to work on them one thing at a time. This might mean adding romance, trying something new, or even communicating more about sex in general.
Other options for sharing without talking face-to-face include chatting on the phone (which takes the pressure off in-person speaking), email, or even speaking after sex with the lights out. How you choose to do it doesn't matter as much as that you do it, and make sure to share your feelings and speak from your heart.
If you don't yet know what you're interested in trying and/or discussing, you should consider experimentation. The great thing about sex is that learning is half the fun!
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