Recently we upgraded our computers. We got rid of old files and added new features to make them more efficient. Frankly, it was a little scary, but now we love our more powerful computers. No way would we go back to the old programs.
Is your communication like our old computer programs? It works but it could be better? Then our advice is upgrade it! And you do just that by learning new communication skills and retooling the ones you already know!
Upgrading your communication will energize your marriage, but be prepared for some surprises and new insights. You may discover that:
Energizing communication is more than chatter. We all chit chat daily -- from "How was your day?" to "Where's the remote?" -- but if that's all you do, then you probably have a low-energy, low-fun marriage. When you upgrade your communication, you will learn how to share your deeper feelings and have heart-to-heart talks that pull you closer together. So start telling your mate what you are really thinking and feeling. Energizing communication is non-confrontational. When we confront each other, we de-energize our relationship. Resist attacking the other or defending yourself. Then it will be safe to talk and you'll be more willing to share your true feelings with each other. Remember to start your sentences with "I" and let them reflect back on you. Avoid, "Why" questions and "You" statements. They tend to be attacking and zap your energy -- and your marriage.
Energizing communication is companionate communication. By really listening and expressing how you really feel in specific yet positive words will help you become close companions and best friends.
Upgrading your communication skills can open new opportunities for growth and intimacy. As you are in the process of learning new skills remember to be honest, yet never unkind. You can be direct, yet positive. Remember, you're developing healthy skills that will enrich your marriage through all your conversations of life.
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