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The Truth Behind Why Men Call Sex Hotlines

Dr. Elizabeth Yuko is the Health Editor at SheKnows. She is a bioethicist and writer specializing in sexual and reproductive health and the intersection of bioethics and popular culture. She is an adjunct professor of ethics at Fordham ...

Here's why men call sex hotlines — & it's not what you think

Despite the fact that the internet makes viewing or virtually participating in any type of sex pretty easy, some people prefer a good, old-fashioned phone conversation with another human live on the other line. Now, for the first time ever, 1-800-PHONESEX has released statistics providing an inside look into the minds of the men who routinely call in.

This information doesn't come from a separate survey, but from review of the data collected from actual phone calls — an average of 41,000 calls each day.

It turns out most callers aren't dialing in for sexual reasons: 60 percent of the calls were for the purpose of companionship.

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"What was surprising is the number of callers who do not talk about sex," Karine Kennedy, director of communications for the hotline tells SheKnows. "Callers are using 1-800-PHONESEX as a social network for voices with real-time communication."

Around 20 percent of the calls were for sexual reasons, while the remaining 20 percent were classified as "sexually deviant." According to a spokesperson for 1-800-PHONESEX, deviant calls are defined as those that pertain to sexual relations that are not what you may consider normal and may involve deviant fantasies — for example, involving a stepmother or stepsister and "extreme, hard sex."

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Despite the fact that callers are looking for companionship, they don't necessarily want to build a relationship with one person in particular: 90 percent want to speak with a new operator each time they call. Approximately 5 percent, or 2,050 calls per day, request a transgender operator. Callers also have a preference for talking to women who sound like Los Angeles "Valley Girls" — with no other discernible accent.

And these weren't quick phone chats, either: the average call length is 18 minutes, with 21 percent lasting between 20 and 44 minutes and 7 percent of calls lasting between 45 and 59 minutes (with 59 minutes being the maximum amount of time permitted per call). Friday and Saturday are most popular days of the week for the hotline followed by Thursday and Sunday; Monday through Wednesday are the slowest.

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As far as trends, Kennedy says they have seen a dramatic jump in mobile phone usage along with text and picture messaging. There has also been an uptick in people calling in for "financial domination." This involves the caller insisting on sharing his personal information — like a Social Security number, bank account information or a partner's phone number — then having the operator repeat it back to the caller so he knows she has it. The caller then tells the woman on the line that if he misbehaves, she should use that information to harm him.

Whatever the fetish, there is likely someone you can talk to about it. Or if you're just looking for companionship, know that you're not alone there either.

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