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The sex hack that basically saved my marriage

Sasha Brown-Worsham

by

Sasha Brown-Worsham

Sasha Brown-Worsham has written for dozens of publications over the course of her years as a journalist and blogger. She lives outside NYC with her three children, husband, and multiple pets. She is working on her first novel.

'Afternoon delight' is the secret that has made my marriage so much stronger

Sex is really pretty fantastic no matter what time of the day you do it. Morning sex is sensual and slow, a great way to ease into the day with a smile on your face. Night sex is intimate and cozy with a huge bonus: falling asleep in each other's arms. But for me, there is, and always will be, one time of day that is superior to all others. The afternoon. Sky rockets in flight and all that. Truly, every day at 2 p.m. I am in the mood without fail.

Unfortunately, it is also the least convenient time for sex. After all, my husband is at work five days a week at that time. On the weekends, we can sometimes hit that timing (especially when our toddler naps), but with three kids, it's not always the best time. Meanwhile, I am always up and running (literally) at 5 a.m. making morning sex impossible. And by 9 p.m. I am too exhausted to see straight. There is no way sex is happening.

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My husband is a morning sex person. He likes to get it done and start the day that way. He's not too tired, he's not too distracted. Meanwhile, for me, morning sex has always been difficult. I like to work out in the morning and morning sex feels like it takes away from that. I am sapped of mojo and not in the mood for a 5 miler. For me, it has always been 2 p.m. or bust. For obvious reasons, this proves frustrating to my husband. We tend to text in the afternoon and sometimes talk on the phone. But it is hard for us to actually be in person at that time. And since I am rarely in the mood any other time, he's traditionally been pretty frustrated. I can't help myself. It's hormonal. On the other hand, I knew I had to meet him halfway to get him to meet me halfway. So I started sucking it up a little.

I'd drink coffee around 4 p.m. to get the engine going. I'd stay in bed a little longer on a Saturday and I asked him to do the same. On the weekends, we try to put the baby down earlier. Any time he can work from home, I like for him to take his lunch break in bed. It works.

I still prefer afternoon sex and I still get that 2 p.m. itch every day like clockwork. But between me trying a little for him and him trying a little for me, we have found a good balance that keeps us both satisfied. And my husband has discovered the joys of afternoon sex. If there is any better way to spend a warm afternoon with the windows open and follow it up with a nap, I can't imagine what it might be.

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Viva la afternoon delight! And to all those out there with badly synced schedules: Take heart. There is hope. You give a little. Your partner gives a little. And... magic!

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