If you think you only meet "the one" one time in your life, think again. A new British study shows that the word is a misnomer, as you actually meet "the one" three times in your life. To some, this study might seem heartening — more than one shot at love! — others, like me, find it a bit depressing.
I know it seems like a childish and naive thing, but I have always believed firmly in the power of "the one." I come by this belief naturally. My husband and I grew up together in a small town in the Midwest and then both ended up in Boston after college. It was serendipitous. We didn't plan it. It just happened. It's hard for me to believe that is not part of a larger plan when things happened so perfectly to help us be together.
It feels like we were made for one another. And while I am sure that any person in a happy marriage would say they can't imagine being married to anyone else, I truly feel like all my husband's quirks fit perfectly with my own and there is no other human on this planet with whom I could connect so deeply. Besides, it's terribly unromantic to imagine we could have been happy with just "anyone," isn't it?
Over the years, I have come to realize my marriage is unusual. I accept that. Not everyone believes in "the one" because they didn't feel that they found it themselves. Last year, a friend told me that he felt he could have married any number of women and still have been perfectly content and happy within his marriage.
The truth is, that makes me sad. It's hard to say that without sounding condescending or judgmental and for some people, it might very well be true. But the love that I share with my husband is so central to my life and so important to my happiness and well-being, I know for certain I could not share that with "just anyone."
All that said, not everyone views marriage the way I do. I recognize that. For some people, a marriage is just one of many relationships. For some, especially those who married older than I did (I was married at 25), they had very full lives going into the marriage and the marriage is just one piece of the larger puzzle. There are as many ways of "doing marriage" as there are people getting married. There is no one right or wrong way to do it.
But for me, the notion of "the one" is comforting. And I truly do believe that in this world of billions, my husband and I found one another because our souls were meant to connect in a way they couldn't have with anyone else.
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