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Engaged women still go on Tinder and I'm one of them

Ally Hirschlag is a producer/actor/writer who lives in Brooklyn, NY and buys way too many toys for her cats. She contributes to several publications, including Bustle, and The Nerve, and enjoys writing about all things woman. In her spar...

Why women who are technically taken still 'swipe right' on Tinder

I'm less than six months away from my wedding day, and I've totally "swiped right" on Tinder in the last few weeks. No, I'm not cheating on my wonderful spouse-to-be, nor am I even grabbing drinks with these guys. However, I fully admit to following my curiosity on the addictive game-style app.

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Not too long ago, I had been exploring a similar dating app for an "I tried it" article I was writing, and my research started heading in the Tinder direction. When I asked a few of my single friends to give me a brief rundown of what it's like using the app on a regular basis, they all said the same thing: "It's addictive. Try it and you'll see what I mean."

My dalliance started off innocently enough — I was out with a single friend of mine, and she let me swipe through a few of her matches while we waited for drinks. Suddenly, I understood why so many people were hooked on the app — it's a nonstop ego boost. At any given time, you can shuffle through a sizable stack of guys who all think you're the cat's meow. I started messaging a few of the ones I swiped right on for my friend, and it instantly filled me with an excitement I hadn't felt in years. That kind of excitement you only get from a new, potential romance.

So I got on the app for "scientific purposes." Initially, I told myself I was doing it to explore the social dynamic of our culture today, so that I could write about it with more expertise. However, if I'm being totally truthful, it was all about exercising my flirt muscle, which at this point had cobwebs all over it. I've been with my fiancé longer than dating apps like Tinder have been around (if you can believe it), so I had no clue how easy it had become to flirt. I was always so awkward at the face-to-face, but now that I could just use a cute picture of myself and my words; I was a natural.

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And according to Cosmo, I'm far from the only taken lady to give Tinder a whirl. For women who've fallen into the comfortable routine of a long-term relationship, the attention they get on the app reminds them they've still got it without really jeopardizing anything. It's fun, it's all remote and it's harmless, for the most part. However, if your relationship isn't on solid ground, I could see how it could easily open up the road to affair land.

Like so many other supposedly singles-only sites, Tinder is replete with attached people. According to a survey on the Global Web Index, 34 percent of users are reportedly married and 11 percent are in a relationship. While many of those users might actually be looking to have an affair, most are probably like me — curious, and just interested in a little validation.

It could even be a fun way to spice up your relationship — show your spouse they've got some competition (not really). However, if you've got a particularly jealous partner, you might want to steer clear of this game. It would be pretty terrible to have such a partner find the app on your phone without a prior explanation from you.

So if you're looking to indulge your curiosity (and your ego), by all means, give Tinder a try, but be sure everyone's on board before you start swiping right.

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