Spring is in the air! What better time to air out your concerns than with a little TLC — thoughtful loving communication? TLC can help you find out if you and your significant other are on the same page about moving your relationship forward. It doesn't happen via text, email or any other techy way but with a good old-fashioned face-to-face conversation. You share and bare your feelings, and hopefully he’ll do the same in a positive way, thus giving new meaning to spring cleaning!
Whether you’re married, live together or spend the majority of your time together, we all fall into routines. Maybe we make or order in dinner, often eating in front of our fave Netflix show, eventually making love if we’re not too exhausted. The result is little or no meaningful conversation or interaction, with the exception of hopefully great lovemaking!
Break the routine! Invite him to a night at home filled with TLC. When you do, tell him with a smile that you miss him, miss us and want to connect and talk without the usual distractions. If he has another idea how to do the same, that’s fine, too. Keep the tone of the invite open and loving — light versus heavy, to limit your pre-stress and his anxiety over what’s up.
Remember, it’s important he knows that this isn’t simply a romantic dinner — though dessert can be — it’s a time for you both to catch up and talk.
Pour a glass of wine and toast the two of you, but don’t overindulge or start drinking too early. You don’t want the wine to cause you to have loose lips or trigger tears! Then just hug him and say something sweet, like, "Honey, I’m so glad we’re doing this.” No drama, no negatives and no creating an atmosphere where he feels like he’s on trial.
I’ve always been a big fan of holding hands. It’s such a simple act, but it connects two people instantly, giving each a feeling of love, comfort, connectivity and closeness. So reach for his hand and hold it as you speak.
I learned a long time ago you can never go wrong when you speak with love instead of anger and hurt. Being honest is hard, and it’s OK if you stumble and cry. It’s pure. It’s genuine. Now’s the time to ask the hard questions and share what you really want. Let him know you want to spend your life with him and plan for it together — with real actionable steps. Ask him if he wants the same thing. If the answers are yes, you go, girl! Jump into his arms, hug and kiss him all over, make love — do whatever feels right to show him how happy you are.
If things have gone well and you both feel that you’ve aired, shared and, most importantly, are on the same page about moving forward, agree to be present. That can mean engaging in more frequent TLC to limit uncertainties and keep your plans moving forward. Schedule your next sit-down in the next few days and start planning!
On the other hand, if he hesitated or gave you an excuse like, "Someday, when…" it’s time for you to realize he may love you but isn’t ready to commit or doesn’t want to. The choice will then be yours to stay or start "spring cleaning" him out of your life. My advice: Get out your broom.
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