Share this Story

The best advice two love experts have for long-term relationships

Colleen Stinchcombe


Causes & Culture

I'm the Community Editor at SheKnows. My perfect day would be camped in the middle of nowhere, reading an excellent book and writing something true.

The best love advice from our live Twitter chat

To celebrate February — the month of looooove — we’ve put together a series of Twitter chats on relationships, sex, dating and more. The first was Thursday, Feb. 4, and we brought two love experts — psychologist Dr. Deborah Bernstein and relationship vlogger Tonya Tko — together to talk about long-term relationships and what makes them tick.

Many of the questions asked by members of our Experts Among Us community seemed to strike a nerve. Here is some of the top advice that came out of the chat.

Is your significant other entitled to your social-media passwords in a committed relationship?

The word entitled is problematic. There should be both an absence of secrets and respect of privacy. — Dr. Deborah Bernstein

I’m nervous about telling my family I met my spouse through online dating. Any advice?

So you’re nervous. Take a deep breath and say the words! Nervousness is never a good excuse for avoidance or dishonesty. — Bernstein

How do you spend time with your partner without neglecting your girlfriends?

Women often pour themselves totally into their men, to their detriment. Think of men like a campfire — air is ncessary. — Tonya Tko

My teens will be out of the house in a few years. What can I do now to help my marriage adjust to an empty nest?

Go on dates, trips, spend some time together not focused on kids. Talk about future plans.  — Bernstein

Remember why you fell in Love. Get back to being woman and man instead of mom and dad. Reintroduce yourselves. — Tko

When do you know it’s time to leave a relationship?

When who you CHOOSE to be is no longer the person right for that union; when the willingness of both to grow stagnates; when you recognize the relationship to no longer be the truth of who you are or have become; when you choose to. — Tko

Couples vacationing separately: Yay or nay?

As long as couples also have good times together and support each other's interests, it can be great. — Bernstein

How much “me-time” should each person in a relationship take?

As much as they need or want! The person who needs the most always sets the amount. — Bernstein

More great advice that came out of the chat:

You must return to the source of YOU. Remember who you are, tap into that. You are love. You must just remember. — Tko

Communication is key for a healthy relationship. We are 365 days times 20+ years of experiences. No two people are identical. Talk openly and honestly. — Tko

SheKnows Experts "Love" Twitter chats are every Thursday in February from noon to 1 p.m. ET on @sheknows. Join in with #SKExperts!

Follow Us

SheKnows Media ‐ Beauty and Style

New in Love

And you'll see personalized content just for you whenever you click the My Feed .

SheKnows is making some changes!

b h e a r d !

Welcome to the new SheKnows Community,

where you can share your stories, ideas

and CONNECT with millions of women.

Get Started