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4 Easy phrases that will make your spouse feel appreciated

Malini Bhatia is the founder of, a website dedicated to providing value in every marriage. provides resources, information and a community that supports healthly, happy marriages. Malini has global experience in...

Make your spouse feel seen and heard with these phrases

During those first few weeks of dating someone new, we do everything we can to make ourselves presentable and appealing. We’re “on” all the time and try to do everything right. However, after we get married, there are times that it seems like we do everything wrong. We start putting in less effort with our spouse and taking him or her for granted. We assume he or she will always be there, and we do not try as hard. Other priorities leave our relationships on the back burner. In my experience, it’s not very hard to remember to show appreciation for my husband because I remind myself to do so often.

So, here are four easy things to say or do to make sure your spouse knows how grateful you are to have him or her.

1. What do you want to do?

Planning and spending time together is essential in a relationship. The more years you’re married, the more you understand what your spouse likes and dislikes. You understand which places to avoid and which places are appealing to you both. However, it is important to occasionally ask them where they would like to go. This allows your spouse to realize that his or her opinion is valued, and he or she may have a fun, new idea that you both would enjoy.

More: 5 New Year's resolutions for your marriage

2. I can’t wait to see you

You should always let your spouse know that you long to be with him or her. On, we've written about how longing keeps relationships alive and exciting. A relationship without longing has lost its spark. Consider sending a text here or there throughout the week to let your partner know you love being with him or her.

3. Our relationship is the most important one I have on this earth

No doubt, the person you chose to marry should be the most important person in your life. Even after the wedding, having children — which is life-changing, as we write about on, launching careers and all the other distractions that come with building a life together, your spouse should still be a top priority. Your marriage should always be cherished.

More: How to adjust to married life after the wedding frenzy

4. Thank you

This one sounds simple, I know, but sometimes we forget to thank the people that mean and do the most for us. Those two little words show good manners, of course, but they also display gratitude and appreciation. Saying thank you to small things like unloading the dishwasher or putting gas in the car can go a long way to making your spouse feel loved. It doesn’t take much time to say, but “thank you” can have some powerful benefits for your marriage.

More: What you don't know about marriage therapy–but should

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