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Hilarious 'parent sex' Facebook post sadly has it all wrong

Sasha Brown-Worsham

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Sasha Brown-Worsham

Sasha Brown-Worsham has written for dozens of publications over the course of her years as a journalist and blogger. She lives outside NYC with her three children, husband, and multiple pets. She is working on her first novel.

Parents tell the true story of their sex life in hilarious Facebook post

When people think about parents having sex, they think about distracted quickies and toys littering the bed. They think about distraction and locked doors and little voices screaming "mommy" at the moment of climax. And now one hilarious viral Facebook post confirms all that.

The post, from Austrailan blogger Constance Hall is both hilarious and cringe-worthy. In it, she describes the few minutes of pleasure she and her husband get from "parent sex." See below:

We had "parent sex" yesterday. You know what parent sex is, it's that 3.5 minutes you get in between changing nappies...

Posted by Constance Hall on Tuesday, January 5, 2016

70,000 likes can't be wrong, right? I am not sure.

As a mom of three, I see all her hilarious points. Seduction does kind of fly out the window when you are trying to get it in between 10 minute YouTube videos. That part is true. And sure, when you have children, sex often falls off the to-do list. But I also resent some of the other implications about sex after kids.

For many of us, myself included, the majority of our lives will (hopefully) be after we have children. This means that if we decide our sex lives are over once we have children, that more or less means our sex lives were only about 10 years long at best.

I am not saying kids are never a hindrance. They are. But as parents, our job is to keep our marriage alive and thriving. There is nothing more important to a child than to have that stable base. And for most of us, that means making sex a priority. So what does that look like?

It looks like weekly date nights. It looks like weekends (or more) away for just the two of you. It means never letting longer than a week go by without connecting sexually. Even when you are not totally in the mood. Find ways to get there. It means sexting during the day and being affectionate during the night. It means keeping making out alive and investing in a good lock for the door. It means getting creative with your dates nights, making out in the drive in like teenagers, getting a hotel room for just a few hours, and leaving the kids with your parents for a couple hours while you sneak out into the woods.

Sure, "parent sex" might look a little different than it used to, but it is still hot. It is still great. It is still fun. There is simply no excuse for letting your sex life dwindle to a trickle just because you had a baby (or three).

So while I love this blog post and find it hilarious, I also refuse to call this parent sex. Maybe it is their kind of sex. But lots of parents have lots of sex and in the end, it's just sex. We are all just having sex in our own way, parents or not.

"Parent sex" is exactly what you make it.

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