The first factor to continue is whether or not you are still emotionally tied to your estranged partner.
Two weeks after catching her husband of 15 years cheating and almost immediately filing for divorce, Dani (all names are changed) told me during a session that she was going on a blind date. We discussed why she was leaping into the fray. The 38-year-old said, “I need to show Jeff that other men are interested in me. It’s his loss.”
I advised her to wait before jumping into the fray. She was understandably a walking emotional wound after the shock she’d just undergone and needed time to heal and embark on self-discovery. Dani acquiesced and held off dating for a solid year.
How to judge that you are emotionally divorced and ready to date:
While there is no law barring you from dating while separated, you should be careful not to do anything your ex and his lawyer can use against you. Certainly consult with your divorce attorney.
Debra, 26, made what turned out to be the costly mistake of posting pictures of herself and her new boyfriend frolicking at the ocean on FB. She felt safe doing so because she and her soon-to-be ex Carl had long ago unfriended one another. However, the two still had many mutual acquaintances — several instantly shared the photos posted by Debra. About to sign a generous agreement, Carl reneged and ordered his lawyer to play hardball. The divorce became a protracted battle and the end result included much less favorable terms for Debra.
Other than sharing details of your dating life on any social media platform, here are other tips to adhere to:
This might sound odd but it’s crucial for you to get to know yourself as a single woman, to know what you like about yourself as well as what you will look for in the future in a relationship.
After the first shock of her separation passed, Katie felt relieved. Her nine-year marriage had been bad for a long time. But being in a toxic situation for so long had negatively impacted the 40-year-old’s self-esteem. “I needed to start feeling good about myself and enjoy spending time by myself,” she explained, adding, “I went for walks alone, to movies, I even took a solo vacation to Club Med. This was all healing for me.”
Develop a support system. You need good friends and family around who are on your side and can be counted on when you need a shoulder or ear.
These days many of us meet partners online. Nothing wrong with that. But it is wrong to lie on your profile about your marital status.
Sheila’s match.com profile listed her as “divorced”. When the 33-year-old who was in the midst of a divorce from her husband of eight years met someone she liked online, it became more and more difficult to fess up and confess her lie. “By the time I finally told him, we’d been dating a month and he was so hurt and angry that he ended it with me, saying, ‘How can I trust you?’”
Other points to be honest about:
And you'll see personalized content just for you whenever you click the My Feed .
SheKnows is making some changes!