You probably already understand why dating a feminist man is fundamental to your mental health (at least I hope you do). But I’m not here to talk about boyfriends, co-habitation or even intimate conversations over dinner that might lead to dating. I’m here to talk to you about straight-up boinking.
You might not think that the particulars of a man’s gender politics matter in the sack, but oh they do, in more ways than one.
Here are nine important reasons for straight women to sleep with feminist men and leave the misogynists to their own devices (i.e., PornHub).
1. Feminist men want to help you close the orgasm gap.
Men who define themselves as feminists understand that casual hookups don’t always end well for hetero women. When we swipe right or go home with someone we met at the bar, we increase our chances of getting off if we go home with a feminist man. Feminist men are more likely to know where your clitoris is, because they give a damn.
2. Male feminists are totally cool with experimenting, because they’re not remotely threatened by power dynamics.
Feminist men got to be feminists because someone or something taught them that there’s still an uneven playing field for women (not to mention LGBT people and POC). Whether he follows Roxane Gay on Twitter, watches Girls or took a woman’s studies class in college, a feminist man understands that the inequities in the world at large extend into our bedrooms. He’s not afraid that you getting yours will take something away from him. There are enough orgasms to go around for all of us.
Whether you want to be on top or want to be dominated, your feminist man is usually down to at least try it out.
3. Feminist men listen — and they want you to tell them what feels good. In fact, hearing about what brings you pleasure turns them on, too.
Men who openly define themselves as feminists are typically the same guys who would not likely mansplain something to you at a party. They realize that what you have to say matters, and they’re willing to listen, even if all you’re saying is, “a little bit to the right.”
4. Feminist men are into going down on you, unlike this douche-canoe whose name has been righteously sullied all over the Internet in the last few weeks.
May he never feel the inside of a vagina again.
5. Feminist men aren’t “weak” or “soft” — unless of course you want them to be. Again, they tend to listen to your desires and to feel comfortable with their own needs.
6. They understand that you might have body insecurities because of the relentless, destructive, ongoing march of patriarchy.
They will not shame you, and in fact they will probably praise you for something you thought was ugly. Feminist men are fighting the beauty myth right along with you.
7. Feminist men don’t think that you owe them anything and aren’t secretly thinking they’ve tricked you into sexing them.
A feminist man would never for one single second think that he’s “scored” with you. No, you both scored if anything, because feminist men believe that you have sexual agency. Also, it’s not a contest.
8. No matter their level of sexual experience or skill, they’re secure, and will keep trying until they get it right.
Communication is everything between the sheets, and your feminist man will keep talking and listening until he gets it right, and will probably be willing to try again in the morning.
9. Intelligence is damn sexy. If nothing else, hooking up with a feminist man ensures that the naked body in your bed is attached to a healthy, agile brain.
Even if you’re not a sapiosexual, a smart sexual partner will get you off faster, better and more often.
Sleep with feminist men, because I can attest that they do exist, and they are totally worth your horizontal time. Besides, if enough of us hetero chicks insist on checking feminist credentials before taking off our clothes, we’ll eventually rid the world of non-feminist men. Consider it a kind of Lysistrata for the Tinder age, but one in which we get to keep having sex with the select men who meet our standards.
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