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Monogamy isn't very natural for most of us (VIDEO)

Sasha Brown-Worsham

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Sasha Brown-Worsham

Sasha Brown-Worsham has written for dozens of publications over the course of her years as a journalist and blogger. She lives outside NYC with her three children, husband, and multiple pets. She is working on her first novel.

Cheating is taboo, but very common, and now science explains why

Monogamy is the norm in our culture as humans. Most of us marry and settle down, mating with one person for life (assuming there isn't a divorce). But for some of us, this human tendency is much easier than it is for others. And it turns out, that's part of our genetic makeup.

The fact is, some people seem to just be hardwired for cheating. AsapScience made a cute video on the phenomenon. See below:

As it turns out, humans are among the 3 percent or so of mammals that mate for life. But roughly 22 percent of us of have cheated on our current partners. Why?

More: 4 Women who dealt with the temptation to cheat and how they handled it

"The gene coding for a dopamine receptor plays a key role in cheating for men and women," the narrator says. "Sometimes called 'the happy hormone,' it's released after pleasurable activities like exercise, eating food and orgasming."

As it turns out, there are bigger and smaller versions of the dopamine receptor gene. About 50 percent of people who possess the long version have cheated on their partners. On the shorter side, only about 22 percent have cheated. Whoa. So what does that mean?

The video goes into the fact that men who make more than their female partners cheat more (as do stay at home dads) while couples who make around the same amount of money tend to be less likely to cheat.

The fact is, if you are going to marry someone, you can't really ask them for a DNA test to make sure they are not hard wired to cheat. That would be weird. But there are ways we can tell whether our partner is a cheater without getting blood. Have they ever cheated before? Did their parents cheat? If so, how did that make them feel?

There is not a 100 percent fool proof way of weeding out cheaters, though. My husband cheated on the girlfriend he had before me almost daily, but would absolutely never cheat on me. I know this because I am a crazy snoop and make sure of it. But I also know this because overall, he is not a born cheater. He was just in a crappy relationship he couldn't get out of.

More: What to do when one partner wants an open marriage

Some people cheat in certain circumstances and not in others. The whole "once a cheater" adage doesn't seem quite fair. Still, be on the lookout and don't be naive. If you don't want to be cheated on, ask the right questions and be suspicious. Always.

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