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Praying for my future marriage fills me with hope

 Pastry Culinarian. Student (#SFA). Misfit. Music Lover. Night Walker. Life gets insane... I find sanity in Jesus

I pray that my future husband and I will grow together in our faith

I can't say I pray for my husband often because, quite frankly, I don't know him. I do pray for the love he and I will share. I pray that it be fearless.

I pray this because I am currently terrified of the idea of dating someone. Literally, just going on a date frightens me. Heck, even pickup lines scare me. I have vowed to not date anyone I haven't known for at least a month.

As inviting as sharing my life with someone is, if I can just be honest, it is also frightening. I'm afraid if someone knew just how broken and goofy and awkward and unforgiving and headstrong I can be, they would run in the opposite direction. I haven't trusted anyone enough to be completely vulnerable with them, except Jesus, and even with him I struggle sometimes.

So I pray that my husband's and my love will reflect Christ in that it casts out our fear.

I also ask God that it be unrelenting. I tend to have an on-and-off switch with people. I don't let them get so close that it would hurt me if they left. I tend to back away when things get uncomfortable or I feel hurt. Not that I stop loving, but that I learn to love from a distance. I don't want to have that distance from him. I don't want my emotions to drive me to be more comfortable alone.

I pray no matter the hurt that he and I experience together, that we will overcome it. Let our love be ferocious. Let us love each other in a way that breaks down walls. Not just the ones we have built, but as others watch how we reflect Christ, let their walls fall too. Neighborhoods and communities would be changed by our union, by how purely we love one another. I want it to be bigger than us — and contagious. Everywhere you lead us, Lord, let the love you've taught us be seeds. Heal relationships as we pray for people, even as we just talk to people.

If you would be lifted up you would draw all men unto you.

I pray for my marriage, that it would be such an exaltation of you that others would be drawn to know what drives it and how to recreate that. Let it be life-giving. Prepare our hearts to administer the gospel globally. That's a big word, Lord, "globally," but I mean it. Near and far, let us spread the news of the one who gives life. Help us to deal well with separation from each other. If he goes somewhere to minister and I have to stay back or vice versa, let us endure the hardness as good soldiers and always appreciate the time we get to spend together. Let us be not afraid to suffer for the sake of the gospel.

Use every part of us for your glory. I pray that the entire process from courting to death resembles your character, God, in every form. Your creativity. Your wittiness. Your sacrifice.

I pray this not just for myself. But for my sisters as well.

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