How singing my heart out was my best breakup therapy
Breakups suck. We hurt. We cry. We indulge. We feel alone. And no amount of Oreos, retail therapy or daily doses of Dr. Phil help for long. But music can. It’s emotional therapy: It can comfort, soothe and find the words to describe our pain and help us heal. It can inspire and empower. During each stage of my “break-over” — a term I use to describe our journeys from hurt to healing — music was cathartic. It helped me navigate my emotional roller coaster.
It also inspired me to realize a dream. I’ve always wanted to write a song and produce a music video — me and everyone else! But I didn’t want to do it in hopes of launching a singing career (though if Jay Z calls, I’m in). It was one of my bucket list items. When my breakup happened, I channeled my emotional rawness — and savings — into fulfilling this dream. Of course peeps around me thought I was crazy, until they heard it and that I could sing outside the shower.
Thus, my music video and anthem for my new wellness community, "Boyfriend Cleanz," came to be. I hope it will inspire, empower and help you and others going through a breakup to smile and believe that you will survive and get back your sense of self ‘n' sass!
Now, for your listening and sharing pleasure (I hope!), here is my "Boyfriend Cleanz" music video, followed by my fave female country break-over playlist!
My fave female country break-over playlist:
1. Lady Antebellum: "Need You Now"
Fave break-over lyrics: “Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.”
2. Taylor Swift: "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together"
Fave break-over lyrics: “I use to think we were forever… but this is exhausting… We are never ever getting back together.”
3. Carrie Underwood: "Before He Cheats"
Fave break-over lyrics: “He don’t know that I dug my key into the side of his pretty little supped-up four-wheel drive. Carved my name into his leather seats… Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats… next time he cheats it won’t be on me.”
4. Miranda Lambert: "Kerosene"
Fave break-over lyrics: “No I don’t hate the one who left. You can’t hate someone who’s dead."
5. Kellie Pickler/Taylor Swift: "Best Days of Your Life"
Fave break-over lyrics:“I’ll be there in the back of your mind from the day we met to the very last time… too bad 'cause you’ve already had the best days of your life.”
6. Lady Antebellum: "Bartender"
Fave break-over lyrics: “Do what you gotta do to forget his name… Slip on my favorite dress and sky-high leather boots. Check the mirror one last time and kiss the past goodbye… Get a little lost until his memory slips away.”
7. Reba McEntire: "Going Out Like That"
Fave break-over lyrics: “He thought she'd be sitting home crying. But she ain't goin' out like that. She's had enough of feeling like dying. … Everybody, here comes the life of the party.”
8. Sheryl Crow: "Strong Enough to Be My Man"
Fave break-over lyrics: “When I show you I just don’t care… when I’m broken down and just can’t stand, will you be strong enough to be my man?” (Alt clip which you like better?
9. Maddie & Tae: "Fly"
Fave break-over lyrics:“Keep on trying though the ground may shake… Just keep on reaching though the limb might break. We've come this far, don’t you be scared now. 'Cause you can learn to fly on the way down." (Note: This song’s not about breakups, but the power of self and tenacity!)
And when you’re ready to "fly" again, this one’s for you:
1. Kelsea Ballerini: "Love Me Like You Mean It"
Fave break-over lyrics: “Wanna keep me, treat me like you lost it… Had my share of losers looking for a heart to break… I don’t have time to waste.”
OK, one more from TV show Nashville, who are conscious yet die-hard romantics:
1. Nashville's Scarlett (real name Clare Bowen): "When the Right One Comes Along" (written by Striking Matches)
Fave break-over lyrics:Silly questions are put to rest when the right one comes along… every single broken heart will lead you to the truth… think you know what you’re looking for 'til what you looking for finds you."