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8 Reasons to marry a younger man and drop the 'cougar' stigma

Lisa Fogarty

by

Lisa Fogarty

Lisa Fogarty has written numerous articles for USA Today, The Stir, Opposing Views and other publications. She has covered everything from red carpet events to the discovery of toxic PCBs on school windows. She lives on Long Island, N.Y....

Marrying a younger man doesn't make you a 'cougar'

Ignore the dreaded "C" word: "cougar," that is, and find out why marrying the younger man you connect with is the best thing you can do.

Love isn't just blind; it's ageless (assuming that love is between two consenting adults. Um, always).

So then, why is it that men constantly marry women who are 10, 15, 20 years their junior, while we get called cougars or are told we're robbing the cradle when we dare date or settle down with a younger man?

People will talk no matter what. Never mind them — they're too focused on a number to see the bigger picture. Here are eight fantastic reasons why marrying a younger man you love is a great idea.

1. He has endless energy

A younger man will surprise you at 10 p.m. by suggesting you put on heels (heels — at 10 p.m.!) and hit up a restaurant and club. At first, you'll look at him like he's crazy and pull your Snuggie over your head. But then you'll get flashbacks of a time, not so long ago, when you didn't leave your house before 11. Those were some damn good times and your younger guy is more than happy to bring them back.

2. Pure fun

There's a certain kind of fun that I like to call Dumb Fun that can only be had when you're spending time with someone who isn't afraid of embracing his inner young and foolish. You'll play video games together, attend concerts held in grimy venues and eat nacho chips out of a bag while listening to music you've never heard before. Life will feel like an adventure.

3. Less baggage

Life experience transforms people from blank slates into canvases rich with color, shadows and highlights. But it also creates baggage. With a younger partner, you're less likely to inherit the past pain of several failed relationships or the complications that come with being in love with someone who has children and a not-so-nice ex-wife.

4. Your success may matter more

There's a fairly good chance, depending on how many years apart you are in age, that you will be the breadwinner in your relationship, at least until he catches up. This can be thrilling for many women, who feel successful and powerful in their marriage and enjoy the opportunity they have to serve as a mentor and role model to their spouse.

5. Your experience is sexy to him

Maybe you traveled extensively before you met. Read a lot of books. Raised a child on your own or closed on your house before you were 28. In some men's eyes, your life experiences are baggage, but in the minds of a lot of younger men, your experiences set you apart from women his age and make you incredibly interesting and sexy.

6. Sexual endurance and experimentation

Do we even have to add this one? The same boundless energy that drives younger men to stay up all night translates like a dream to the bedroom. Expect a younger partner to be willing to go to great lengths to please you and to last a long time.

7. They remind you to slow down

Younger men aren't always looking 30 years into the future; they're thinking about this weekend. While your younger spouse will benefit from your advice about why it isn't always good to live for the moment (you should also get on him pronto about contributing to his 401k!), think about the comfort you'll derive from being with a person who can teach you how to live in the moment and really appreciate the way that sip of wine tastes instead of thinking about calories and the gym time you'll have to put in tomorrow.

8. They're more optimistic

Younger folks, in general, are more apt to still believe that people can change and goals can be attained. At some point, we lose a bit of that hopefulness — and a great many of us are a lot less happy because of it. If you bring a few slices of pragmatism to the table and he brings a few slices of optimism, you’ll create a delicious cake.

More about age and relationships

Men in their 20s want a really surprising kind of woman
Senior sex is the best sex, despite what you thought
Extreme cougars: The cougar phase just got a lot crazier

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