There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be better in bed. Spicing up your sex life doesn’t have to involve re-creating a scene from 50 Shades of Grey — in fact, good sex is a bit like eating. Everyone does it, it can be either exciting or pedestrian and to have a great meal you’re going to need to learn how to cook (or find yourself a chef).
If you want to learn how to cook it’s time you met Grace Bellavue, an Australian escort passionate about her industry. She’s here to teach you how to find out what your guy wants (and how to give it to him).
According to Grace, the one service that most guys ask for is the GFE or "girlfriend experience".
"Most clients want to experience an active, willing, passionate partner who’s happy to try different positions, receive pleasure and give long, sloppy sensuous blow jobs that result in swallowing," she says.
"The second most requested service is the PSE — or 'porn star experience'. "This is hot, frantic, heavy sex — loads of eye contact, super sloppy show off blowjobs, lots of dirty talk, anal sex and a lot of exhibitionism," she explains.
"While anal sex and intense blow jobs are my most requested services, most guys come in lamenting their partner has little to no interest, desire or enthusiasm for them anymore. They want to feel virulent, desired and communicated to during sex," says Grace.
Often a guy’s partner at home is disinterested, half-hearted or more sedate in their desires, indicates Grace.
"Most of my clients get off on giving me pleasure," she says. "When they feel as if their girlfriends aren’t into it as much or are reluctant or shy to receive pleasure, they delight in being with someone who is open, communicative and passionate about sharing good sexual experiences," she explains.
If you’re stuck in a bit of a love rut there are a bunch of things you can do to spice up your bedroom activities. But, a word of caution — according to Grace, 80 per cent of great sex is psychological so you’re going to need to commit and give it your all.
"You can throw a million sex tips into the mix, but if you do them shoddily there’s not much point," she says.
Grace suggests a good dose of anticipation to get things started.
"Anticipation can be a titillating thing. Often in relationships sex becomes habitual and you tend to fall back into the tried and true to release pent-up sexual energy," she says.
Role playing and scenarios can be a fun way to get out of a romance rut as well. "It can be fun to discuss and modify role plays for each other’s tastes and preferences," says Grace.
"You can read through ideas on literotica.com where there are millions of variations of scenarios that can provide great inspiration. Pick one that gets you aroused and encourage your partner to assist you in the role play," she suggests.
If you’re worried that lovemaking isn’t a spontaneous affair in your house after kids, don’t be — planning a time or venue for it to take place and exchanging sexts and emails about it can help build the anticipation.
After you’ve spent the time making yourself feel sexy and playing up the anticipation, the last thing your guy wants is for you to lose your confidence.
"Disinterest, lack of self-esteem and self-confidence issues are a huge turn-off for most guys," says Grace.
"What you perceive your body to look like and what your guy perceives can often be two totally different things. The more you embrace and reveal your body the more confident you will feel in it. No hiding underneath blankets or in the dark — revelling in your body and your sexuality is a powerful thing," she explains.
Also, steer clear of faking it. "A lot of guys dislike over the top, fake moaning," she says. "If you’re not being aroused guide your partner verbally and physically until you’re screaming in genuine ecstasy," she suggests.
This one is super simple — just ask.
"Find a time and just ask them what they want," suggests Grace. "Be prepared that everyone has an incredible spectrum of desire, fetish and fantasy so whatever they may be into you might not be into and vice versa."
Grace suggests finding pictures, stories and erotica that suits your taste to share with your guy. "Men are visual and the act of sharing erotica with your partner is fun and rewarding," she explains.
So if you’re ready to wow your guy then it’s time to start thinking sexy. Go get yourself some new lingerie, wax those legs and, in your most sultry voice, tell your guy exactly what you’d like to do to him. You’ll rock his world.
Help a sister out — what turns your guy’s world upside down in the bedroom? Do you have any special moves you’d like to share? Pop them in the comments section below!
And you'll see personalized content just for you whenever you click the My Feed .
SheKnows is making some changes!