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4 Kinky Handcuff Sex Positions — Because Losing Control Is Sexy

Jamie Beckman is the lead blogger for the Sexcerpts blog on SheKnows.com. She has written about relationships, health and lifestyle trends for Redbook, USA TODAY, Men's Journal, Men's Health, Best Life and First for Women magazines, as w...

Take everyday sex positions to a new level with a simple pair of handcuffs

3. Hands Behind Ankles

Take everyday sex positions to a new level with a simple pair of handcuffs
Image: SheKnows Design

How you do it: "Lie down with your belly to the floor or bed. Bend your legs up and reach back for your feet. Attach the handcuffs around your wrists so that they sit behind the ankles," says licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical sexologist Kat Van Kirk.

Why it feels so good: “This position can bend you open so that there is great access to the mons pubis, labia and clitoris. It opens your hip flexor muscles and flexes your glutes for a fabulous and very arousing stretch, which brings blood flow to the pelvis,” she says.

More: 5 Ways to Have Sex While on Your Period

4. Standing Room Only

Take everyday sex positions to a new level with a simple pair of handcuffs
Image: SheKnows Design

How you do it: "Find a spot, like a towel rod or a hook against the wall, where you can handcuff your partner’s arms while standing up," Morse says. "Once you have both hands restrained above their head, tell them not to move. Just the act of you forcing the arms back with handcuffs is a sign that this is where they’re going to stay put for a while, especially when said in a stern voice. It’s perfectly acceptable to not feel totally comfortable with some of the words and actions at first, but just go with it. Sex isn’t supposed to be perfect, but it does get better when you stretch your sexual boundaries (to a certain point). With both hands restrained, it’s up to the dominant to begin the teasing and the surprising. You’re in control, so tie the arms and toss on a blindfold and play with different sensations. Try softly kissing your partner on the lips, then slowly moving down, stopping to nibble and tease the nipples. Engage in oral but don’t stop exploring — you’ll go back to that anyway. Play with sensations: Warm oil from a massage candle, ice cubes or wet kisses will all stimulate your partner’s arousal. If they are blindfolded, they won’t know which sensation will come next, making it mysterious and that much hotter. This session ends when you say so or your partner can’t take it anymore because they just have to have sex with you now."

Why it feels so good: "This is pleasurable to both of you because you’re giving and receiving on your own terms," she says. "Playing up the scenario with handcuffs makes the roles even more pronounced and that much more of an arousing act all around."

Bonus handcuff sex tips:

Q. What kind should I buy?

Technically, any handcuffs will work (even a scarf that you tie — loosely! — as makeshift cuffs will do just fine). Know, however, that there is a possibility that some handcuffs can cause nerve damage, Queen says. The cheap kind of handcuffs that don't lock can continue to ratchet and clamp down on your wrists, and the metal of the heavy-duty, locking, police-grade cuffs can be dangerous if you're writhing hard against them. If you're worried about those scenarios, consider buying cuffs made of leather or fabric that buckle or tie. GoodVibrations.com sells a myriad of cool-looking products like this that range from tough-looking to super-glam. See 'em all here.

Q. I'm a little freaked out by the idea of restraints. How can I make sure my partner and I both stay safe?

First, don't do bondage with a person you don't know well or trust, and agree on a "safe word" in advance. "A safe word — any word besides 'no' or 'stop,' basically — allows the bottom person to be in character if she likes; when it's time to stop, the safe word takes them out of the fantasy scene and interjects real needs in a clear way," Queen says.

Second: Make sure the object you're cuffing a person to and the surface they're resting on is stable. "Even if you don't cuff someone to a piece of furniture, like a chair or headboard, make sure they're not going to fall off the side of the sofa (or billionaire's office desk) or be thrown back onto the bed with their hands tied behind their back," she says.

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