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4 kinky handcuff sex positions because losing control is sexy

Jamie Beckman is the lead blogger for the Sexcerpts blog on SheKnows.com. She has written about relationships, health and lifestyle trends for Redbook, USA TODAY, Men's Journal, Men's Health, Best Life and First for Women magazines, as w...

Basic sex positions that are better with handcuffs

Sex toys these days are getting more innovative (and sometimes, more complicated), but handcuffs are one of the classics. Maybe you've always had a power-play fantasy, or maybe you have some Halloween cuffs lying around the house that you had no idea what to do with — until now.

If handcuffs intrigue you, you're not alone: A recent LifeStyles Condoms SKYN Sex Survey found 26 percent of respondents reported a desire to incorporate restraints into their sexual routines, and 15 percent said they already do. Why are handcuffs so sexy in the first place? Control — or lack thereof — is a huge factor. And much of that has to do with your 9-to-5 gig.

"For people who have a day-to-day life of being constantly in control, juggling too many tasks with an overload of responsibilities, giving up control in the bedroom can be a huge turn-on," says sexologist Emily Morse, host of the Sex With Emily podcast. "It allows them to tap into their bodies sexually and let go without worrying about anyone else’s pleasure but their own. The same goes for someone who is more passive in their day-to-day life. It’s arousing to be the dominant, to be the one in control, calling the shots and orchestrating the entire scene."

Which category do you fall into? Or do you find both scenarios hot?

More: QUIZ: What kind of masturbator are you?

Here are four positions to get you thinking about your next sexy bedroom session. Surprising your partner this weekend may be in order...

1. The Kinky Missionary

Basic sex positions that are better with handcuffs
Image: SheKnows Design

How you do it: "The person on the receiving end lies on her back, hands overhead and cuffed," says Carol Queen, Ph.D., staff sexologist at Good Vibrations. "You can up the ante with a second pair of cuffs on the ankles if the bed has legs to loop the cuff's chain or a length of rope to. The dominant person is on top, probably talking dirty."

Why it feels so good: "Anyone who already loves missionary position loves it because of the full-body contact and face-to-face intimacy," she says. "This allows those elements to remain very important and adds a touch of power play: Hands over head and bound exposes the breasts and gives her more of a feeling of being ravished. If someone likes bondage, the immobility and ravishment are generally part of its delight. The 'top' gets the delicious feeling of power and that the 'bottom' is there for the taking — quite literally."

More: 5 Summer sex positions

2. Queening in Bondage

Basic sex positions that are better with handcuffs
Image: SheKnows Design

How you do it: "For this position, the man (or submissive partner) is on the bottom. 'Queening' is also known as 'sitting on his face,' so this is an oral sex position where the woman gets lovely licks while the man's wrists are bound above his head; she just has to take care not to put her weight on his arms when settling in to be pleasured. This could also be modified to involve woman-on-top intercourse but with the bottom cuffed," Queen says.

Why it feels so good: "One thing the Fifty Shades of Grey reader doesn't really get is a positive look at a woman on top," she says. "'Queening' is a very good tease position, where the top person almost lowers herself onto the bottom person but doesn't quite make contact… 'till their partner begs!"

Next Up: Hands Behind Ankles

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