We're not sure where bad pickup lines started, but somehow they've become almost an art form. (Or at least the bad ones.) How do you craft something full of puns and nonspecific compliments that's cheesy enough that the other person might assume there's some depth underneath your one-liner? We're not sure, but people manage to do it. What we really want to know is: Have any of these ever worked? Was it only ironically?
Anyway, we hope these pickup lines will give you a laugh. Just promise never to (seriously) use them.
These pickup lines are so bad, they're almost good.
1. "Was your mother a beaver? 'Cause damn!"
2. "Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore — my face should be among them."
3. "It's handy that I have my library card because I'm totally checking you out."
4. "Did you just fart? Because you blow me away!"
5. "Do you work at Subway? 'Cause you just gave me a foot-long."
6. "Hey, girl. Are you German? 'Cause I wanna be Ger-man!"
7. "I hear you're looking for a stud. Well, I've got the STD and all I need is you."
8. "Are those space pants? Because your ass is outta control!"
9. "Do you have a Band-Aid? 'Cause I scraped my knee falling for you."
10. "Can you touch my hand? I want to tell my friends I've been touched by an angel."
11. "If you were a Transformer, you'd be Optimus Fine."
12. "I've lost my teddy bear! Can I sleep with you instead?"
Up next: "Hey, baby. Want a raisin?"
A version of this article was originally published in February 2015.
13. "Hey, baby. Want a raisin? Sorry, none left. Perhaps a date then?"
14. "My doctor told me I'm missing vitamin U. Can you help me?"
15. "Go on; feel my jacket. It's made of boyfriend material."
16. "Hey, girl. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because we have a connection."
17. "Baby, you're the next contestant in the game of love."
18. "OK, I'm here. What do you want for your next wish?"
19. "Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. He'd like your phone number. He wants to know where he can get ahold of me in the morning."
20. "You seem like the kinda girl who's heard every line in the book. So what's one more?"
21. "Excuse me. I think you have something in your eye. Nope; it’s just a sparkle."
22. "Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams."
23. "I have 4 percent battery remaining. I chose to message you. Did I choose wisely?”
24. "Do you like pancakes? Well how about IHOP on that ass."
25. "Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk past again?"
26. "If you were a booger, I'd pick you."
27. "Are you a campfire? Cause you're hot and I want s'more."
28. "On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?"
Bet this one is his new favorite.