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11 Things men do that are really clingy

Lisa Fogarty

by

Lisa Fogarty

Lisa Fogarty has written numerous articles for USA Today, The Stir, Opposing Views and other publications. She has covered everything from red carpet events to the discovery of toxic PCBs on school windows. She lives on Long Island, N.Y....

Real things men have done that are scary (and hilariously) clingy

At first he seems like an absolute dreamboat: complimentary, attentive, kind, generous, attentive, sweet, attentive, comfortable with PDA, attentive. Did I mention attentive?

That's because what first comes off as a flattering, highly attentive gesture — he asks you to call him after every meal just so he can hear your voice and make sure you ate your veggies (OK, wait, that's weird, too) — quickly turns into your worst nightmare; a needy, clingy and borderline frightening partner who may just have a spare key to your apartment.

We asked a random group of women to reveal their most cringe-worthy clingy boyfriend stories. Brace yourself — here are 11 of the worst we've heard:

1. The sign holder

"My ex was upset over a stupid fight we had because he didn't want to go to my friend's party. I told him we needed some time to cool off and went to a shopping mall with my mom. An hour later, my mom and I returned to my parents' house to find him sitting by the front door, waiting for me to get home. This might seem sweet to some. So I should mention here that he was also holding a sign that said 'Let's party.'"

Real things men have done that are scary (and hilariously) clingy

Original source

2. The squatter

"I had a guy refuse to leave my apartment after I broke up with him. He left after my cat bitch-slapped him in the face. That might be more psychotic than clingy, though."

Real things men have done that are scary (and hilariously) clingy

Original source

3. The man who cried "girlfriend"

"My husband thought my full name was 'Sasha my girlfriend' because my boyfriend at the time called me that constantly. Given what happened he was right to worry though."

Real things men have done that are scary (and hilariously) clingy

Original source

4. The seated protector

"When I started dating my ex, I was bartending most Sundays. He would come and sit at the bar for the ENTIRE 10 HOUR shift. Not in a menacing way or to make sure nobody hit on me, but because he 'wanted to spend time with me.'"

Real things men have done that are scary (and hilariously) clingy

Original source

5. The pick-up artist

"He insisted on picking me up from work. Each and every day. I started to feel like he was my babysitter instead of my boyfriend. Right before I broke up with him, I actually used to duck out the back door of my building and call him when I was a few blocks away to apologize for 'getting out early.'"

Real things men have done that are scary (and hilariously) clingy

Original source

6. The phone man

"He used to ask me to call him every single day when I got to work. I worked in an office in downtown Manhattan and took the express bus, but he acted like I was a journalist in Baghdad."

Real things men have done that are scary (and hilariously) clingy

Original source

7. Missed call man

"I missed a few of his phone calls one day because I was busy at work. When I saw him later that night at dinner, he took my phone and refused to give it back because, as he explained, I obviously don't need a phone since I never answer his calls."

Real things men have done that are scary (and hilariously) clingy

Original source

8. Joint social media lover

"He wanted us to merge our Facebook accounts — like two months after we started dating."

Real things men have done that are scary (and hilariously) clingy

Original source

9. Watch my TV man

"If we were both sitting on the couch and I was reading instead of watching whatever insipid thing was on TV, he would get offended that I didn't want to spend time with him."

Real things men have done that are scary (and hilariously) clingy

Original source

10. The end of fun man

"He suggested we stop having girls-only and guys-only nights because there was 'too much temptation.'"

Real things men have done that are scary (and hilariously) clingy

Original source

11. The dental wannabe

"We met two weeks before Christmas and agreed to share small gifts. I opened my present to find a toothbrush and tube of toothpaste with a note that read, 'Please put me in ____'s bathroom and use me every morning.'"

Real things men have done that are scary (and hilariously) clingy

Original source

More about clingy relationships

4 Signs you may be too clingy
The clingy boyfriend

How I dealt with my stage 5 clinger

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