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The anatomy of a creepy Tinder profile

Based out of Dallas, Texas, Mary McCoy is a writer and social worker for disenfranchised women and children. She's a single mom, lover of Texas barbecue, and a die-hard fan of yoga

These real-life Tinder men have creepiness down to a science

When you're new to Tinder, it's easy to imagine that the site is pretty straightforward.

Picture? Check. Cute little tagline? Check. Swipe left 50 times for every swipe right? Check and check. Within a few days, though, you'll start wondering which strange galaxy you've fallen into. It's like sitting in an emergency department waiting room.

Here's the thing: Tinder is far more science than art, and you'll pretty quickly realize that there is a science to the creepy Tinder male profile. Avoid at all costs if you see a man sporting the following profile characteristics.

1. Overdoing it with the Halloween pictures

These real-life Tinder men have creepiness down to a science

Image: TinderCreeps.com

We'll give a pass to one Halloween picture. One. Any more than that, though, and the dude is looking less quirky-cute and more into fetishes.

2. Slightly parted lips and big hair

These real-life Tinder men have creepiness down to a science

Image: TinderCreeps.com

Any guy who thinks this is a good look has clearly spent too much time studying Justin Bieber. You're not a Calvin Klein model. Go home. We're not looking for the Biebs.

3. Bad nudity

These real-life Tinder men have creepiness down to a science

Image: People On Tinder

What is behind that gnome? Drats, it's probably just more body hair.

Seriously, Tinder nudity is always a bad thing, especially if the guy has cropped out his face from the image.

4. Trying too hard

These real-life Tinder men have creepiness down to a science

Image: The Tinder Files

This guy says that the "key to staying young is to never grow up." We're guessing that his other, unmentioned key to staying young is dating 18-year-olds.

5. A couple's profile

These real-life Tinder men have creepiness down to a science

Image: People On Tinder

Either JimnKatherine don't know how to Tinder, or they're spicing up their love life with a little swinging. Couple's profiles are a huge red flag — unless that's exactly what you're looking for!

6. Shirtless selfies

These real-life Tinder men have creepiness down to a science

Image: The Tinder Files

Is this guy looking to meet new people in a hotel? Is that why he's taking his shirtless selfie in what is clearly a hotel lobby bathroom? We don't understand the shirtless selfie, and we don't understand the angry face.

7. Blood or weapons or both

These real-life Tinder men have creepiness down to a science

Image: TinderCreeps.com

Favorite hobby? Murder.

8. Any version of this guy

These real-life Tinder men have creepiness down to a science

Image: TinderCreeps.com

Let's give 22-year-old Dominic the benefit of the doubt, and assume he's trying to be funny. Even if he is, though, a guy who opens his profile with how awesome he is and how you should be privileged to respond to his text is extremely questionable.

If a Tinder guy passes the creepy Tinder profile test, go ahead and text away — at least until he blows it with a creepy message.

More about online dating

How to handle the awkward adventures of online dating
15 Horrifying and real OKCupid messages
6 Things guys can do to be less creepy on dating sites

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