First thought? Sleep more soundly at night. Second thought, of course, is that we'd probably laugh less often. The proof is in these 20 mystifying and creepy Tinder texts, straight out of happily ever after.
OK, probably not an actual bang.
Hot. Steamy. Squirrels. Sounds more like roadkill than a pickup line.
Negative points for... everything else.
Less creepy, more awesome. She prob should have given him a chance.
We'll give him an A+ for awareness.
Does an occasional dose of Tylenol give a woman a certain look?
He probably should have specified his plans more thoroughly to avoid this awkwardness.
Like eating a burrito before CrossFit? That kind of a terrible thing?
What was he even drinking? Paint varnish?
Guys, have you ever heard that women are just so impressed when we hear about penis size from the penis owner? We aren't.
That's a really nice compliment, but I'm kinda using it right now.
And pineapples. This guy is a keeper.
Good Lord, does anyone really think that's the good part of sex? Yeesh.
That's a great suggestion and all, Eric, but what's in it for you?
The tiny image at the end of this shady message tells us that this is a man with an eye for detail.
It takes a special man to go out of his way to be an a-hole. Welcome to Tinder, a place that's full of special men.
He looks more like it should be named Princess Sophia. His friends have done him a gross disservice.
For you? America.
Got to love a man who knows how to finesse a conversation.
This one is just for fun, since clearly women can mess with guys, too. Right back at ya, fellas.
Image: Denis Bocquet/Flickr
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