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10 Things going through your head when he's a dirty talker and you're not

Bethany Ramos is an editor, blogger, and chick lit author. Bethany works as Editor in Chief for Naturally Healthy Publications.

Here's what it's really like to get caught off-guard by a dirty talker in bed

If you take Jason Derulo's word for it, you might think that everyone wants you to talk dirty to them. But what are you supposed to do when he's a dirty talker, and you're not? What if his explicit bedroom language catches you totally by surprise?

For some people, there's nothing like a descriptively dirty word to get your motor running. For others, dirty language in between the sheets will have you blushing like a virgin bride on her wedding day. Awkwardness during sex is guaranteed when a dirty talker and pure-tongued partner meet.

It's gonna get weird.

Here's exactly what you might be thinking when you find yourself in this dirty little predicament: 

1. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Here's what it's really like to get caught off-guard by a dirty talker in bed

Image: giphy.com

On second thought, don't bring up his mother when he's kissing you with that mouth.

2. Should I say it back?

Here's what it's really like to get caught off-guard by a dirty talker in bed

Image: giphy.com

"Um… You're a bad, bad boy who needs to be punished. Too much?"

3. Do I sound like a robot?

Here's what it's really like to get caught off-guard by a dirty talker in bed

Image: giphy.com

If your dirty talk comes across even remotely like a sexy robot, he probably won't notice.

4. Do I sound like I'm giving driving directions?

Here's what it's really like to get caught off-guard by a dirty talker in bed

Image: giphy.com

"Yes, put it there. To the left. No, your other left. It feels so good on the left. There you go."

5. Should I curse?

Here's what it's really like to get caught off-guard by a dirty talker in bed

Image: giphy.com

If it feels good in the moment, why the f*ck not?

6. What if I laugh?

Here's what it's really like to get caught off-guard by a dirty talker in bed

Image: giphy.com

This might happen. Just try to make it sound like a sexy giggle, and your secret is safe.

7. What should I call his penis?

Here's what it's really like to get caught off-guard by a dirty talker in bed

Image: giphy.com

Almost nobody has this one figured out. Use the name, preferably non-clinical, that sounds most comfortable to you.

8. Should I comment on size?

Here's what it's really like to get caught off-guard by a dirty talker in bed

Image: giphy.com

Yes, a thousand times yes.

9. Am I supposed to keep talking?

Here's what it's really like to get caught off-guard by a dirty talker in bed

Image: giphy.com

Dirty talk in the bedroom should never turn into a three-act monologue. A few dirty sentences will do you just fine.

10. Did I do it right?

Here's what it's really like to get caught off-guard by a dirty talker in bed

Image: giphy.com

The good news is that there's no wrong way to dirty talk. If you let a few bombs drop and had a good time, you did the dirty deed just right.

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