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How to cheat-proof your relationship

Kait is an enthusiast of all things writer-ly. She studies creative writing at Simon Fraser University in Vancouver and derives inspiration from her work at the Women's Health Collective, city exploration, and talking to strangers. She a...

Give your relationship staying power

From SheKnows Canada
The best way to cheat-proof your relationship? Make sure it has a solid foundation. You can do this even if you've been together for years. It just requires the time and effort to be conscious, communicative and, above all, to having fun. Here are five steps to building that solid, affair-proof relationship.

Give your relationship staying power

Make sure it stays fun

When you're not having fun anymore, it's a sign something is wrong. Break out of a rut by exploring each other in a new way. Make an effort to see each other in a different light by doing something you've never done before. One way to push your comfort boundaries is by trying an extreme sport like rock climbing or taking a kick-boxing class together. Reinventing yourselves together creates an opportunity for new levels of bonding and growing.

Find out how to bring fun back into your relationship >>

Touch each other

Being intimate — physically and emotionally — doesn't just keep your mind from wandering. Touching has scientifically proven benefits: Skin-to-skin contact symbolizes safety and trust, calms cardiovascular stress and triggers the release of oxytocin, a neurotransmitter in the brain that makes us feel good. It also makes us more supportive and empathetic. Touching is the best drug for lasting relationships.

Make time to date

It might sound unromantic and unspontaneous, but planning ahead for date nights is crucial; otherwise they won't happen. Freeing up the entire night ensures you're both ready to fully give of yourselves, that your minds aren't on anything else and that you're fully present. Pick an activity you're both really excited to do, and have fun!

Try these five ideas for date night so you're not always doing the same thing >> 

Talk through it

When you feel inclined to give the cold shoulder, roll your eyes and leave the situation or freak out, take a minute to yourself. Chill, collect yourself, and then come back to your partner and talk about it. It's important to get angry, sad, frustrated — whatever you happen to feel. If you don't ever allow yourself to feel those emotions, then you're not being honest. Let the intensity of the emotion pass, then talk about it with your partner. It's the only way to relieve the feeling. Be present. Be honest. Share with your partner. Strive to have nothing to hide between the two of you.

Learn why fighting is good for a relationship >> 

Take responsibility

Expecting someone else to make you happy or taking responsibility for anyone else's happiness isn't being part of a give-and-take relationship. Ideally you're both independent codependents, and you're both willing to take responsibility for each of your respective issues. Translating individual issues onto the relationship (unhappiness for whatever reason — work, family, etc.) is a recipe for trouble. Be ready and willing to call each other out and to help each other whenever it comes to that.

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