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6 Rules for fearless dating

Kait is an enthusiast of all things writer-ly. She studies creative writing at Simon Fraser University in Vancouver and derives inspiration from her work at the Women's Health Collective, city exploration, and talking to strangers. She a...

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From SheKnows Canada
Abandon worry and self-doubt, and make this year your year to date fearlessly. Here are six guidelines to keep you confident, open-minded and sane in the dating game.
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1

Know your value

"Me time" should never be a special treat. Whether you make it a part of your routine to give yourself a mani-pedi or to write in a journal, taking the time to de-stress and be happy alone will boost your confidence. Showing yourself some love means you won't have to prove anything to anyone else. Chase no one, and put up with nothing you don't deserve.

2

Abandon your "type"

Ditch the word altogether. Having a strict idea of the kind of person you're attracted to puts limits on who you can date. Train your brain to get out of a type groove by going out of your way to seek out new kinds of people. If you usually date artsy guys, make a plan to hang with your friends who are more into sports, or vice versa. Sometimes opposites do attract.

Check out more ideas for knowing and loving yourself >>

3

Remove feelings of urgency

Never prescribe timelines on texting, calling or dating. Not only will doing this make you crazy, but it's just not fair. He has no idea you expect him to return a text in under an hour and if he doesn't that you'll think he's "not into you." Never assume. There are a million reasons a person wouldn't text you back immediately. Don't allow your imagination to run wild.

4

Don't let anyone become "perfect"

When you're really into someone, it's easy to let them become perfect in your head. The more we think about them without seeing them, the more of an idea they become. This is dangerous territory — no one is perfect. We're all just people trying to date, have a good time and find someone to have a good time with. Take the pressure off yourself by keeping those big, daunting ideals at bay.

Trusting yourself comes in time. 'Til then, learn how to avoid these 4 dating mistakes >>

5

Clear your mind


Even if you're super nervous before a date (and even the most fearless daters are), the best thing you can do is clear your mind and trust yourself. Don't try to think of a bunch of talking points ahead of time. This is distracting and anxiety producing. Do whatever you need to do to get into a good mood before your date; then you'll be able to live in the moment and have fun. This is what dating is all about.

6

Give up the "one wrong move" syndrome

It's not what you do but who you are that really matters in dating. Making one wrong move — sending a less-than-witty text, pocket-dialling him or saying something stupid — doesn't mean you've ruined things. If he stops talking to you after one dumb remark, then he's not worth your time. If you and your date get along and have a good time together, no one wrong move you make will change that. Keep your eye on the big picture, and don't dwell on the little things.

More on dating with confidence

Ways to feel more beautiful on a first date
Damage control tricks for common dating mistakes
How to be a better flirt

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