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Damage control tricks for common dating mistakes

Kait is an enthusiast of all things writer-ly. She studies creative writing at Simon Fraser University in Vancouver and derives inspiration from her work at the Women's Health Collective, city exploration, and talking to strangers. She a...

4 Quick fixes for dating slip-ups

From SheKnows Canada
Messed up with a new man? Don't freak out; even the savviest daters do. Here's how to fix four common dating mistakes most women make.

couple on date

Few people are 100 per cent confident about their ability to make a stellar first impression on the first few dates. Messing up happens. Thing is, dating mistakes tend to grow in our minds and become worse by the minute, until the entire relationship is doomed before it even starts. Instead of over-thinking it, take action! Here's how.


You got verbal diarrhea

Being nervous and trying at all costs to avoid awkward silences makes rambling easy. Keep in mind that your date was likely self-conscious too, which means he probably wasn't as aware of your nervousness as you think. Plus, some men have a heightened sense of responsibility in dating scenarios; if you did appear nervous, he may have blamed himself for not making you feel comfortable.

The fix: The best thing you can do before a date isn't to prepare clever talking points; it's to clear your mind. That's the only prep tool that will help you think clearly and calmly and be yourself. Otherwise you won't actually hear anything your date says. If you feel compelled to ramble, try to keep it to a question-answer-question pattern. That'll keep tangents to a minimum.


You talked about your ex

Everyone says this is one of the top faux pas in dating, but let's be realistic: We all have exes. If your date expects you not to, that's weird. It's inevitable that an ex will come up in casual conversation.

The fix: Mentioning an ex can actually be a powerful tool, but use it sparingly. If you talk too much about an ex, it sends the man you're with the message that you don't care all that much about him, are just using him for emotional support or straight out aren't over your ex. But if you use it right (only a few casual times, without sharing too many details), it'll conjure the image of you as a girlfriend — someone else's girlfriend, which can stir his competitive side.


You stayed over too soon

Staying over too soon can ruin your chance of being seen as girlfriend material, but sometimes it just feels right. The only way to know if it was a mistake is to wait it out for him to make the next move.

The fix: Play it cool. Trust that if it's meant to be, he'll get in touch again. If he doesn't in over a week and you still can't get him out of your mind, then try contacting him. If it doesn't work out from there, at least you know you tried. Then move on. You don't want to be with the kind of guy who's just looking for a one-night stand anyway.


You shared too much about a personal issue

Left too little to the imagination? Being an open book is better than coming off as fake or insincere. If your date is a sensitive kind of lad, he'll likely appreciate that you were honest about what's on your mind. Plus, the best connections are formed by bonding over the crappy parts of life. If he can't handle it, he's probably not ready for a relationship.

The fix: Counteract the situation with some lightheartedness. Be the first one to laugh at yourself. Then don't mention it again until he does. If he really does care, he'll ask you how it or how you are doing.

More on dating mistakes

4 Dating mistakes to avoid
How to be a better flirt
How to start dating again

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