Conflicts and arguments are impossible to avoid in close, healthy relationships. Being emotionally intimate with your partner means you are able to comfortably be with and care for someone who is different than you (and this difference is inevitable and necessary). By fighting with your partner, you both learn more about what you as individuals will and will not tolerate, and knowing these boundaries will make you more comfortable and at ease with each other. On the other hand, if you never fight with your partner, you’ll be walking on eggshells because you’ll be afraid to hurt his feelings — which only means you aren’t comfortable together or secure in your relationship.
When you argue with your partner, it is usually about something he or she has done that has upset you. Being able to tell your partner how you feel about what he’s done is great for your relationship because you keep the communication open between you two. Your partner is better able to understand how certain actions affect you and why, and vice versa. This makes your relationship stronger, because learning from each other’s mistakes will help you avoid them over time. Note that this doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to keep bringing up past arguments. Rather, stick to what upset you in the present situation.
The more arguments you have with your partner, the more you both will learn how to compromise and find a solution in the end. If you’ve heard the expression “never go to bed angry,” it’s true. Don’t leave arguments hanging. Rather, try to find a solution that pleases both parties. Arguing will help you figure out acceptable compromises together — as long as you are both fighting to find one.
Imagine always getting your way, no matter what. Let’s face it: If you and your partner constantly agreed on every little thing, your relationship would be a tad boring. This doesn’t mean you should pick a fight with your partner every day, but it’s definitely OK to have a few arguments once in a while. Challenging your partner on things that bother you (and vice versa) will help you both learn more about each other. And if these arguments are passionate, then making up will be that much sweeter.
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