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What are the 5 Love languages?

Rebecca Waldron is freelance writer who recently relocated to sunny Chandler, Arizona, from Denver. She enjoys everything from shopping and fashion to learning how to surf, and she loves spending time with her two dogs, Play Doh and Brut...

learn the language of love

From SheKnows Canada
Are their really more than one love? Yes, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, author and renowned marriage counselor, there are 5 love languages! Or at least five universal ways that we express and interpret love. These 5 love languages are based on the pattern he has seen in the couples he has counseled over the last 30 years and how they have universally expressed and interpreted love in the same five ways, or in the same 5 love languages.

learn the language of love

In the Book The 5 Love Languages, The Secret to Love that Lasts, author Dr. Gary Chapman discusses the 5 love languages that all of us universally identify with when expressing and interpreting love. Although there are five types of love languages most people lean heavily on one or two and are usually drawn to people who "speak" a different love language than themselves. Below are the 5 types of love languages that can be applied to all the relationships in you life, according to Chapman.

Words of affirmation

For some people hearing "I love you", words of praise or compliments are what they value most. These individuals feel that words have more weight than actions and would rather hear "the reasons behind that love" versus any other expression of love. This also means that if something negative or insulting is said to one of these individuals it will not be easily forgiven.

Quality time

For some people spending time with loved ones is their preferred love language. Whether it be a quiet lunch or an afternoon walk, spending quality time and being the focus of their undivided attention leaves them feeling satisfied and comforted more than words. "Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful" to these individuals, since "being there" is crucial.

Receiving gifts

Not all people who enjoy receiving gifts are "materialistic" this just means that for these individuals love is equated with a tangible gift. The gift doesn't have to be extravagant or elaborate, but it does have to be meaningful and thoughtful. So if you know that your partners favourite comedian or band is going to perform and you surprise them with tickets, that would show love behind the gift. But if you were to buy a gift certificate or an impersonal gift, prepare for some serious backlash.

Acts of service

Hearing the phrase "let me do that for you" is music to our ears, but for people who see acts of service as the greatest expression of love, hearing this phrase is like hitting the jackpot! These individuals want their partners to notice that their own responsibilities are grand and sometimes daunting and that a helping-hand every once-an-a-while shows love and care. Just as much as these individuals love acts of service, they do not deal well with broken promises and laziness and have very little tolerance for people who make more work for them, because it shows a lack of value for them.

Physical touch

The language of physical touch doesn't only refer to physical touch and affection in the bedroom, but refers to the everyday physical connections, like handholding, kissing, pats on the back, and any type of re-affirming physical contact. A person who desires physical touch and affection isn't overly touchy-feely but for them touch shows how much their partner cares for them. If that physical bond is broken by abuse their entire relationship can be destroyed indefinitely.

One Last Reminder

Remember that just because you or your partner favour a particular love language, doesn't mean that you should stop expressing the other love languages. According to Chapman, that even though we tend to favour one language more than the others we still enjoy traits of the others as well!

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