11. Double the pleasure stimulation. One of the surefire ways to enjoy the experience is to simultaneously be receiving, ahem, additional stimulation. Have your partner use their other hand to rub your clit or, once you're really into it, use a vibrator either on your clitoris or for vaginal penetration.
12. No need to get an enema or wax. You don't need to get an enema (ew) or get a wax back there. While you certainly can if you want to, it's not a must to enjoy the experience.
13. Make sure you practice your breathing. One of the most essential things I've learned in my, well, practice is that relaxed breathing is key. When your partner is about to make the grand entrance, so to speak, inhale a deep breath and then slowly breathe out as they enter.
14. Start with a position you can relax in. Some people prefer doggy style, and knees turned in can open the hips and take pressure off the sphincter muscle. However, many people prefer to lie flat on their backs with a pillow under the butt to start. Try whatever way makes you feel most comfortable.
15. You can try starting with sex toys. An easy way to start is by having your partner start with a little penetration, either during sex or cunnilingus, using a small or bullet vibrator (turned off, if that's easier). A finger works fine, too, and should be used to stretch you out slowly before anything larger gets involved.
16. Be open to having an orgasm. Yes, an anal sex orgasm is possible! The female cul-de-sac (the sensitive area on the lower wall of the vagina) makes one possible without other stimulation. You can also have an orgasm if you are having anal sex and your partner is simultaneously stimulating your clitoris or vagina.
17. What it feels like when they start. Look, there's no way to put this nicely. When your partner begins to slide in, you need to exhale, relax and push out as if you are using the restroom. The pressure from your partner's penis or toy will probably make it feel, at least at first, as if you indeed are using the restroom. Relax. You're not. Your nerve endings are tricking you. Have your partner stop just after the head is in, and give yourself a few minutes to get used to the discomfort and pain.
18. Eat fiber. You'll basically feel really full. With the note above, it's probably good to mention that there is a small chance that you will have leftover feces in your anal canal. Eating a fiber-rich diet always helps, but don't be afraid if this happens. It's natural, and yes, a bit gross.
19. It's OK to start really, really slow. Just after your partner is in, have them slowly (very slowly!) rock back and forth. Allow about five to 10 minutes for your muscles to start loosening up and for that weird "wait, am I pooping?" moment to subside.
20. Remember what this is really about. This isn't about you fulfilling some sort of fantasy. This is about your mutual enjoyment, so focus on yourself as much as on your partner. They need to understand and be patient until you're comfortable to keep going.
21. Bad experiences happen because they're too eager. Another reason why you need to be in control? Simply going in fast or having vigorous anal sex is exactly why people get injured and have bad experiences. If your partner is not good at controlling himself, lie on the side so that you can stop them with your hands and they can have easier access to stimulate your clitoris.
22. Have them talk you through the discomfort. It's important to keep the lines of communication open throughout this process. Make sure your partner is constantly checking in on how you're feeling (especially at the start) and make sure you're honest about how you're feeling. If you've gone far enough for tonight, that's OK too. There's nothing wrong with not getting to the finish line just yet. You can try some of the early stuff, and pause. Remember, take it slow. We're not in a rush here.
23. You'll might need baby wipes. Just saying. Keep baby wipes nearby in case you do have an incident with leftover feces. Have them by the bed so that your partner can quickly grab one and clean up when they pulls out.
24. Let your partner be attentive and communicative. You should both be communicating before, during and after the act about your feelings on it. Be open and understanding to their desires, but demand the same.
25. In the end, it's OK if it's not for you. But yay if it is! Give yourself points for trying something new, and don't hesitate to try it a few times if the first time you just weren't feeling it. While it may not be my favorite thing on the menu, a good time once in a while can be pure magic.
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