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5 Things you should stop doing during sex

Deborah Cruz is a SheKnows parenting expert and blogger at The TRUTH About Motherhood, which she calls a place of "humor, support, honesty and integrity." Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

Sex can be beautiful and wonderful. It’s supposed to be a fun and intimate release. Not every time you have sex is going to be mind blowing, sacred or even romantic, but it can still rock your world.

Sometimes sex is just sex and there is no love involved, and that has its place too. What it should never be is a chore, forced or one-sided. Sex is a two-person sport where toys and body parts are our tools of pleasure and everyone involved needs to want to be there. Still, even under the best of circumstances sex can fall short of our expectations.

Here are some common mistakes we’ve all made during sex. Stop getting in your own way and go enjoy sex to the fullest.

1. Overthinking it

When it comes to sex, just do it and enjoy it. I mean seriously, if you think about anything too much it becomes a chore and sex should never be a chore. If you are not enjoying it, you are not doing it right.

2. Worrying about how you look

Who cares? Think of it this way, when you are in the middle of making love are you looking at your partner thinking, dang, he sure makes weird faces when he orgasms or are you thinking damn, it sure feels good when we orgasm? Sex should be something you are so involved in when it’s happening that you don’t have the time to waste worrying about what it all looks like on film, unless of course you’re a porn star.

3. Talking too much

A little talking is okay but when you're in the middle of sex no one wants to hear you say, "Oh yeah, remind me tomorrow to buy toilet paper." And men, make sure your lady is comfortable with what you're saying. If she doesn't like being called a "dirty whore" don't say it!

Also, ladies, don’t call out the wrong name. No, guy wants to hear “Christian Grey” screamed out while he’s doing all the heavy lifting.

4. Not being fully present

Get into it. Enjoy it. Sex is supposed to be fun and pleasurable. You don’t need to be the best, but a little enthusiasm goes a long way. Don’t tense up or start thinking about grocery lists and laundry. Give your man a little encouragement and sweet direction; he will happily satisfy your desires if you just ask for it. Men are not mind readers and expecting them to be is ridiculous.

5. Faking it

I don’t believe in faking orgasms. You cannot fake an orgasm until you make it. If you fake it, you’ll never orgasm because he will stop trying and let’s be honest; sex without an orgasm occasionally is fine but sex without orgasms forever, what’s the point? I know we don’t always have an hour or more to get juices flowing with massage oils and scented candles, not with kids and all, and that is what quickies are made for. Believe me in the right state of mind even a quickie can be satisfying but I refuse to fake an orgasm and you should too.

Believe me, I know men make mistakes too. Hello, tuning in Tokyo is not my idea of foreplay, and pssst... most women do not orgasm from penetration alone. But, if you are willing and present, sex can be magical and mind blowing and I swear, once I saw a unicorn fly across the room after orgasming. So, ladies and gentlemen, go get your groove on just keep in mind that there are usually at least two people involved and it should be fun for everyone.

What’s the one thing that always turns you on?

Photo credit: Jupiterimages/Pixland/360/Getty Images
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