The comedian and future Late Show host was tapped to field reader questions for Rookie magazine's monthly "Ask a Grown Man" segment [via TIME]. Frankly, his words are a reminder of just how simple some dating tenets are for all ages. Although all his advice is pretty spot-on for the kiddos, including how to deal with a misguided young misogynist (gently but firmly tell him his comments aren't cool) and how to get dad on board with sleepovers at le boyfriend's house (you can't — the man has his reasons), here are the two key highlights I'd like to hone in on.
"There's a little contradiction here. You say, 'he likes me and treats me well,' but also, 'he’s kind of mean to me and lies to me a lot'... I would not waste my time with somebody who lies to you. Even the 'mean to me' is easier to deal with than somebody who lies to you a lot, because if he lies to you how do you know if he really likes you, even though he says so? Maybe he's lying about that, too... I would give this person one last shot and say, 'Don’t ever lie to me again... a predicate of this relationship is that you can't lie to me and I can't lie to you, so I am going to be honest with you, and not lie, and say this is your last chance.' Then kick him to the curb!"
"People show they like you in all kinds of different ways, but some basic ones are: They want to hear your stories, they care how you feel, they want to make your day better, they want to listen to your problems, they reach out to you... if somebody goes to the effort to call you, reach out to you, write you, pay attention to you at a party, come over and talk to you, smile when they see you, ask you your problems, those are good signs that they like you, because they're making the effort to not be so self-centered that they want you to do that for them. Someone is giving you the attention, and wanting to know about your day and your problems, then they probably like you. If your happiness is more important than their happiness, or their first concern is what's going on in your life rather than in their life, then that's a really good sign. One nice definition of love, I think, is that one person's happiness is more important than your own, and some early signs of that is they want to make your day better by helping you unburden your own problems... If someone is just paying attention to you over and over again, it probably means they like you. Because if someone really doesn't like you, they mostly ignore you."
So in conclusion, ladies of all ages, remember Mr. Colbert's words... liars are impossible to deal with, let alone date, because they could be lying about your whole entire relationship. When someone likes you, they go out of their way to show it. (Always.) And love means putting someone else's happiness above your own.
From a grown man's mouth to our ears, it's pretty remarkable how simple the whole guy thing is when you break it down — and how easy it is to miss relationship issues when you're in the middle of them. Whether you're 12 or well into your 20s (or beyond), it's never too late for a reminder.
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